L0V3Rs in th3 h0us3

2010-08-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

and the day just ended like tat... with me all alone...

couldn't even study today ... totally no mood for tat ...

i didn't receive any message went you return home
you didn't even called me before you sleep
i didn't even hear your voice before the day ended
if i never call, i would have never heard your voice

why am i so petty about the little things?
why do i even care?
what am i looking forward for?

nothing.

today is our 15th month...

2010-08-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

ARGH!!! time is running out for me!!! totally not enough time le ... totally dun understand every thing!!! feel like burning my books ! hahahaha ... morning i when to play badminton with secondary school friends, den just now when to eat with my relatives and den slack at my aunt house and play with my 2 years old cousin ... soo cute !!! hahaha ... i wonder if i was like tat long long time ago ... hahaha ... and den here is the main thing ... i never study !!! ARGH !!! always say wan study but den always end up doing tons and tons of other things except studying ... hahaha ... and den i totally totally cannot study along yet cannot find any friends who will study together with me ... i just everyone just work best alone ... only i am the werid one ... or maybe studying with me will only be a burden ... who knows ... LOL ... tomolo going school to study with the girls ... haha ... miss them sia ... hahahhaha ...

just now is chinese valentine. and i spend it alone... hahaha ... i kinda expected it so it wasn't a big shock. but still a bit SIANZ i totally look forward to the steamboat on thursday =( everything was planned out properly... but you can't make it ... SIANZ ... and den talk to you halfway, you fall asleep on me as usual ... SIANZ ... maybe i should just go and sleep ... sleep through all these stuff ...

drowning.

in a whole heapful of problems.

struggling in life.

2010-08-11T08:07:00.001-07:00

it's half way through my supposed "study break" but somehow, i just can't get in to the mood of studing ... when ever i say ok i start now, den i will end up doinf sth else and den say ok tomolo start ... always ... damn! and i just told myself tat i will say no to procrastinate ... haiz ... totally no self dicipline ... and den i am totally bored ... can sth pleasant happen to my life now ? someone just give me a surprise or something ? sianz ... if i continue to stay at home i will really turn crazy ... seriously! my home nothing but a good place to lost ur sanity!!! i am going insane!!! argh !!! haha ... i wanna go out!!! i wanna go out and play =( i wan i wan i wan =( but in the end i still can't ... dun know where to go and with whom ... haiz ... everyone is busy =( only i so free ... need to find sth to keep my occupied ... if not like so lonely seh ... if this is not study break i would have just run to work ... sian ... and i hate it when i have to study alone ... i dun wanna study alone ... can't study alone too ... will get distracted ... Zzz ... dun ask me to focus ... i wan to ... but i can't ... even if you dump me in a room with only my book and a pen, i can also get distracted after 30 min ... will end up playing with the book or the pen ... Zzz ... CMI ... totally CMI for academics ... how sia!!!

tipping toes. just to see how you are doing at the other side of the wall.

2010-08-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

Been thinking way too much, feeling too much emotions ... Everything seems so messed up ... I wanted to rely on someone badly ... Just to gety away from my problems for a little while ... Perhaps maybe, out of this depressing period, there would be tat someone who would bring me happiness and be my shelter ... There is too much mixed feeling ... Stuff tat I dun understand ... Stuff tat I want to do yet cannot do ... Stuff tat I wish to do yet do not wish to do ... Too much thoughts, too much contradiction ... I am confused ... Which way should I go? where would it lead me to? Will I end up in the place I dread most ? Or am I just running in circles ? Too much stuff in my head ... It just kept going on and on ... Stuff which can't even be pit into words ... Stuff tat bothers me so much ... I dun even know wat to say or where to begin with ... I seem to be like an expert solving ppl problems ... But when it comes to my problem, I can't do a Thing about it ... This suxs... Some is I know what I need to do ... But I can't do it ... Some is I totally have no clue on how to go about handling it ... I am in a dilemma ... A huge pinch ... Problems just comes one follow by the another and somehow, I feel myself buried under all these ... Oh god, save me!

Sometime u put a wall up not to keep people out but to find out who cares enough to break it down.

2010-08-05T03:18:00.000-07:00

ARGH! it's so bpred at home ... and i am so sick!!! does anyone have any super effective medicine that will help me get better by tomolo ? i dun wanna go to YOG rehearsal with a sore throat ... i wanna scream, shout, play and get high! hahahahahahaha ... so looking forward to it ... or maybe just looking forward to the day where i could just get out of my house to play ... and den because i am suppose to get well better by tomolo, i have to be in the bed whole dar =( cannot play ... if not tomolo mama is not gonna allow me to go for the YOG rehearsal de ... until now den can play because she went for some taiji dinner celebration at malaysia ... she will be home late ^^ I AM HUNGRY! lol ... random ... my house dun really have good food =( looking forward to BBQ on sunday!!! (my bestie house warming) yayayayayay!!! haha ... so to my throat, please get well by tonite XD

2010-07-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

today came home at 6plus cause accompany yiling to wait for cheerleading ... played some games together with ts, ken and yiling ... haha ... super funny seeing them do all the action ... haha ... tat was fun! thian soon you still owe us a forfeit ok! LOL! dun try to run! haha ... i am so looking forward to the cruise trip!!! but den must pass the exam period den can go ... sianz!!! after reaching home, bath and watch movie, read comic, listen song den eat rum and raisins ice cream! super enjoy life can!!! haha ... and den noe while i am typing this blog, i am like going gaga over jacob and zac effron!!! and guess wat... i got my computer a zac effron wallpaper! ahhhh! ♥♥♥ i can so sit down, stone and totally melt infront of my computer =D

sneek a peek at me~♥

2010-07-29T03:55:00.000-07:00

如果有一天我说我想要自己一个人静一静，你会做些什么？

如果有一天我说我累了，你是否会有所行动？

如果有一天我不再主动，你是否会自动？

如果有一天我不在等候，你是不是会伤心？

如果有一天我说我要离开，你是否会挽留我？

我所想要的对你而言太难。你所做的对我而言难以接受。

我在很努力地学会接受，也会慢慢去学会不去依赖你，也尝试着去接受你那独来独往的个性，也会以你在爱情里所能做和不能做的事情做调整。随即应变我再行。但愿我的变化能够让我们的爱情继续，到我再也无法坚持为止。

drowning myself with music and being oblivious to the world.

if i had you, life would be a party, it'd be ecstasy!

how i wish.

2010-07-28T04:44:00.000-07:00

just now went to amk subway to eat with yiling, ts and sy =D through out the whole thing sy keep kanna "shot" by us ... haha ... but it was enjoyable ... and thanks sy and ts for helping me carry my super duper heavy lappy ! haha ... and for the whole day, a certain someone and a certain someone always kanna "smashed" together ... (they share a cup of drink with two straw [oh isn't tat wat they call the couple slurp?!?] and a foot long subway meal ^^[but sadly it was cut into two =( ] ) cause we detect a new romance budding =D exciting right? will they succeed or will they fail ? to day is the 1st testing round ... results will be out on ... hmm ... fri ? because i tomolo no school!!! yayayayayayay!!! no school!!! you hear me ? NO SCHOOL! N.O. NOOOOO SCHOOLLLLL!!!!! shiok! but anyway i will still be going to school to draw graffiti with farah!!! (my design school bestie!) so looking forward to it ... haven been drawing for about 2 years le ... will be cui + cui ... haha ... but still, it would be super fun! hope tomolo i will be able to wake up on time then !

@yiling: ^^ Y _ _ _ _ _ <3 _ _ _ _ N _ _ _ N ^^

@vivien: i got cravings for apples!!! *random*

2010-07-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

just finish ict individual test to day ... and yes... if you are guessing how well i did it, on word sums it all - CUI! i asked ppl to stay back on monday to teach me, go home, den continue to ask around for ppl to teach me on tuesday morning... super thick skin and chap in the group of ppl and "having the i am so lost" and "this is so werid" feeling ... LOL ... dun know if they will mind anot ... but anyway, special thanks to Yiling, Sawyang, Ken, thiansoon for accompaning/staying back with me/come earlier to teach me =D because of you all, i think my ict can pass =)

i just went to check my attendance today ... 83.3% for biz finance ... shit! i really really hope that i won't get debared ... they say once you get the seat number and the exam time table den you are comfirm going for the exam already ... cross fingers*but i still very scared lei ! my attendance has never drop below 85% before you know !!! scared*

things are quite messy in my family, with my parents stuff going on, i am really in a complex situation... i can't help neither party and yet i need to do something about it ... but still i am only their child ... will it work out anot it is all on them ... i can only give advise ... i am not some zai counseller or wat ... i can only tell them stuff that i think will work ... and because of that my feelings is like shit... wan help but cannot ... so helpless ...

darling thanks for being there when i feel so terrible =D
LOVE you lots <3

2010-07-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

went to bishan with jia min, helen, jessica aka teresa chin wan wen and sally mah sok wai >.< bought koi honey milk tea the large de! drink till bloated! den bought po luo bun at crystal jade! jia min recomend de !!! very nice !!! haha ... den on the way back bought durian!!! finally! got cravings for it very long le !

@vivien: i finally get to eat durian!!! =D

spend 20 dollars today =( and late for biz finace today ... so never go .. really hope debarement week finish already!!! if not i die le ... ict exam coming ... once again i feel my dooms day approaching... will i escape death yet once again ? please tune in to xiiaodor.blogspot.com to find out more on next tues! >.<

today reach home jiu sleep for 4 hours straight ...

too tired le...

and i think i hallucinating

i can smell dar's scent on my pillow

is it due to me missing you too much ?

2010-07-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

recieved roses from darling today as present for our 14th month ... was surprised when he came with the roses... i wanted to buy roses for a very long time already... so was kinda touched tat he actually remebered that i whine about it ... or is it because i whine too much le ? >.<

14 months of sadness, happniess, jealousy, confuse, joy and mixed feelings...

cried, smiled, laughed, entertained...

this is wat love is isn't it?

and all these is what makes it all worth while...

our precious memories =D

2010-07-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

it's just the environment ...

it's just the circumstances...

maybe it's just me ...

it's ok ...

i shall wait...

till all these ends...

we shall see the clear picture...

perhaps we dun even need to wait so long...

2010-07-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

why thing doesn't seem right between us? why? i am not u... as much as i try, i did like to understand u... but i am not you... if you never tell me wat's going in your brain i dun know ... seriously ... there is always conversation killers ... "LOL NVM" "i'm tired" "LOL okayy" how am i suppose to respond to that? we agreed to let you take control since you are intimidated by my love... and it turns out ...

2010-07-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

Super bored with everything!!! Life isn't fun when you fill it with school work, projects, datelines and more datelines!!! I wan to escape this world for a little while and change my lifestyle pace ... Too bad that there isn't much place to go to in singapore ... Come to think of it, singapore is really small ! Places that you can go to is really limited !!! I wan to have a get away!

2010-07-02T02:53:00.000-07:00

alrite, so i started school already... and den i receive my results which are ... well, better than i thought i might get... looking on the bright side, i passed all my subject except the ict which i know for sure that i wouldn't pass it ... but den all the rest of the exams aren't good and i just passed them ... LOL ... and den here comes my ica2 which is mainly the projects and i dun even have a single clue how to do it and what is it all about ... so i guess i am probably gonna die down there ... man it's getting harder and harder to do all those stuff =(

waiting for dar now
hope he finish his work soon =)

2010-05-14T08:04:00.000-07:00

today went to novena together with darling ... actually wanted to go there to find his birthday present de ... (shoes and pants) but when we reach there, darling dun know wat the shop name is called and he say he only know how the shop looks like ... but he dun know how to walk there ... LOL ... so we were like walking all around trying to find the shop ... in the end finally find the shop ... but den the shoe only left uk size 7 ... too big for dar like and den i ask if got other store got anot the person say dun know ... so we settled for sushi at 日本村。had a nice time there ... hehe ... i love the milk shake there ... den dar say the milk shake taste like melted magnolia ice cream ... abit cheat money ... haha ... i actually wanted to put photos de ... but then the photos all at dar de handphone ... hehe ... EFMA exam on mon ... argh ! hope i get well prepared for it by mon =)

2010-04-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

A friend ...

within these four walls... here i am... bored... i am not alone... and yet i feel so alone... so empty... wat's happening to me?

2010-04-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

i guess i am having mood swings now ... suddenly feel moody ... got a feeling of emptyniess ... it feel terrible ... wonder how to get better ... hmm ...

2010-04-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

ello ! i am back !!! haha ... school open le ... never blogged since then ... actually is lazy to blog ... haha ... very sian ... school work starts to pile one the very first day of school ... man ... that sux ... especially i am just having the "i-have-just-started-my-holiday" mood ... haven touched any of the books yet (except during school) haha ... this sem is gonna be hectic ... totally ... today just attend the new elective that i choose ... families and youth ... something like tat ... haha ... i think like kind of interesting to learn about laws that protect children and women ... cool ... well, the memorizing part is not cool at all ... but still ... =) crm teacher a bit hyper ... LOL ... but i kinda feel tat she would be the kind who would be nasty if you didn't do your work or will reprimand you sarcastically ... LOL ...

ok enough of school ... today i just watched monga ... i like the movie ... i think it was cool ... but den i was kinda disappointing at the ending ... dun know got die or not ... the girl got together with him anot ... got watch movie together not ... all leave there hanging ... like the movie never finish lor ... bad after taste ... tell you something that i think quite funny ... the sole of my shoe came off ... ok ... not totally ... but almost half came off for both ... (my shoes always cannot last... i wonder why... is it because i walk like bull ?) anyway, we decide to buy glue and stick it ... so we bought the super fast dry glue and den get into the cinema den glue my shoes in there ... epic sia ... but that's not all ... (even though i think it's funny enough le) after that i left my shoes at the side for it to dry ... pressing it down for it to dry while watching the show ... den after a while i wan to check if it is already dry ... tat's when i realize tat my shoe is glued to the carpet floor ... LOL ! i think because dar put too much glue on the shoe den it overflowed when i press down ... haha ... epic ... we were like pulling it out by force ... LOL ...

btw, i finally got my file ... like after 2 weeks ... LOL ... okok ... here's the high light of the day - i have bought the house of night series book 2 - Betrayed. i am like totally hooked on the book lah !!! definitely gonna buy the whole series ... haha ... hyper for the whole day ...

xiiaodor experience addiction ever since she read house of night series book 1 - marked.
haven read?
go buy NOW.
(man,they should pay me for helping them advertise... LOL)

2010-04-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored

seriously... there is nothing entertaining for me at my home ... super duper bored ... attempt to make chawanmushi today =) the outcome is quite ok ... but i think i must put more seasoning ... and den more practice will make it have a smoother texture ... but den all in all, it's nice ... i make for everyone in my family ... daddy promise to come home to eat it at 5pm de ... but he didn't ... and when he came home just now at 12.30pm, he totally forgot about it ... like it never happen before =( oh well, forget it ... it's his lost anyway ... so i get to eat more =) next time gonna make again ... dar today quite busy at work ... message never reply ... haha ... i thought some thing happen ... cause usually he will reply de ... so i call den also never pick up ... i guess i will have to wait until tomolo den ... for the whole day my mum keep nagging me ... and to make things worse, i can't find anyone to talk to so that i could at least feel better ... sian ... at home whole day = kenna nag whole day ... home is never a good place for me to rest ... got quite irritated by the constant nagging so when cq call me to accompany her to her new house (which is like a block away only) i straight away go ... haha ... if i stay at home any longer, i would have erupted like a volcano ... LOL ... kk i go sleep le ... if not my mum will come out and nag again ... ZZZ ...

i know you are tired
i know i should have been more understanding
but i have my share too
forgive me will ya?

2010-04-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

back from 2nd day of work ... as usual ... ugly uniform ... unfriendly staff ... tired ... my whole leg ach like ... no words can discribe ... haha ... stand there and carry lot of stuff like kinda hard on my leg ... last time use to can do it for a very long time de ... now cannot le ... either i am old le or my leg spoilt le ... haha ... finally added song to my blog ... i has been singing "slient night" for quite awhile now ... finally got sound le ... LOL ... i like tat mv ... so romantic ... haha ... after the mv end den me and my sis both say she can get married le ... haha ... epic ... mummy was clearing up the storeroom and den she dig out an old computer desk tat i used to use when i was young like 5 years old ... how nostalgic ... it's kinda funny ... how come i remember this kind of random things but den i can remember all the weird thing tat i did which my mum always tell tales of it ? haha ... my brain spoilt le ... it always goes the opposite way that it is suppose to be ... maybe tat's the reason why xiiaodor never do things tat are labelled in the "it is suppose to" series ... haha ... one more week to school reopen ... sian ... so fast sia ... haven played enough ... haha ... (even though i was playing more than working during this holiday)well i guess play time is never enough for me =P ok ... i will stop here ... need watch anime to relax ... haha ... cya ... will be back soon =)

2010-04-09T04:47:00.000-07:00

reach home after working as promoter for bliss yogut drink... new job ... haha ... and i found out 1 thing ... ntuc staff are not friendly ... not even to customer ... all the friendy ones are the promoter ... wat happen to the staffs there sia ... hougang de like tat ... thomsom plaza de also ... and den i am being made to wear the very ugly bright orange shirt ... (you know my skin colour? super contrast lor! ) and den still need wear ugly apron plus a wear hat ... all in bright bright orange and grey colour apron ... UGLY !!! and den i need to carry heavy stuff ... pain sia ... actually when you are in the big big refridgerator, you can't feel a thing ... because it is too cold already ... but den when you carry the heavy thing out to display den you will slowly feel the pain and den you will realize that among all that carrying and digging you did in the big refridgerator you have got cuts all over your hand by those cardboards ... sian ... and the refridgerator very scary ... later someone dun know you inside den close the door den you GG le ... trap inside 2 hours nia i think i will froze to death le lor ... plus keep going in and out of the refridgerator, hot cold hot cold de ... i got headach sia ... and den because dun have sample ... so very very hard to sell ... ppl dun even wan to listen to you ... how to push ? sian ... still have tomolo and the day after tomolo ... need to stuck with the ugly uniform ... no choice ... until i am a billionaire, which is quite impossible, have to put up with all sorts of things ... 钱奴。

2010-04-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

yesterday when to watch how to train your own dragon with dar ... haha ... toothless was so cute ! hehe ... quite enjoy the show but den the storyline is a bit normal ... nothing special ... except for the part tat toothless was cute and the senery was nice ... next up, clash of the titants ... hehe ... dar say wan watch ... and i go and see wat the movie is about le ... something to do with greek ... so it's actually wat i am interested in also ... hehe ... so i am going to watch it !!! hehe ... bored ! at home nothing to do ... going to work this friday saturday and sunday ... haha ... fully booked ... for money ... chiong ! haha ... school starting soon sia ... not sure if we are starting with tep or academic de ... and wat sub module i got ... alot of question left unanswered ... sian ... for now i will just slack at home bah ... haha ... watch anime and download movie to watch ... haha ... now i will go play my i touch ... haha ... bye ~

2010-04-01T02:18:00.000-07:00

haha ... just came back from dar house ... really very bored staying at home ... can't really stay with dar for long because he has to attend mike's birthday celebration at the chalet ... oh btw, happy birthday mike ! haha ... i think he probably won't see this though ... haha ... didn't get to watch how to train your own dragon ... so a little disappointed though ... but it's ok ... maybe next time bah ... hopefully it is still on show ...
BORED !!! seriously ! wat to do at home ? watch drama ? watch anime ? i finish my 珠光宝气 already ... now watching soul eater ... and it seems that i am finishing up on that 1 ... sian ... now i got nothing left to do le ... need to do some drama or anime hunting ... any one got nice shows please intro ok ? thank you so much ^^

2010-03-31T07:03:00.000-07:00

hihi ! i am back ! haha ... currently watching soul eater ... quite lame and retarded ... but interesting though ... very funny ... tomolo planning to go watch how to train your dragon 3D with dar ... heard that the movie is quite cute ... LOL ... very long never meet dar le ... he nowadays busy with work and going out with friends ... so i quite look forward to tomolo =) did a list of the things that i wanted to buy ... didn't realise that i actually wanted to get alot of stuff ... haha ... really money not enough sia ... although all the thing are not expensive things ... but den add them all together ... OMG ... haha ... i think my this time de salary also not enough to buy everything ... haha ... yesterday my best friend cq stayed overnight at my house ... we have a fun time girl chat all the way ... haha ... i think she is the only girl that i can ever talk to for 4 hours straight on phone and den talk through the night ... we can just talk about everything under the sun ... haha ... love you sister =) and den my another best friend carol came over to find me today ... we went to compass point to shop awhile ... bought yellow nail polish and clear bling bling de nial polish plus nail polish remover ... den went to buy some food from old chang kee ... now my wallet totally empty le ... Zzz ... ah ! money not enough sia ... den we went my house nearby de playground chat ... den went up my house to continue chat again den go home ... haha ... we also can talk together for very long ... haha ... thanks for inviting me to your blog ... love you too ! haha ... craving for smelly toufu ... so i am gonna get them with cq on mon ! yay ! gonna eat alot alot alot ! haha ... caleb propably won't bring me there or at most bring me there den won't eat de ... so going with someone who would eat together with me would be fun !!! yay !!! haha ... how to train your dragon 3D here i come !!! ^^

2010-03-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

currently in malaysia ... staying over at my grandma house ... it's already day 2 ... yesterday 7 am jiu reach le ... from saturday 9pm jiu the journey on the bus till 7am den reach penang... nothing to do on the bus de ... they got only one tv on the bus but den they play bodyguards and assassin... damn sian... the bus keep rocking and the driver keep stop the bus for a puff of smoke ... in the end can't get much of a sleep... later i tuesday go back still need to sit the bus again ... die le ... will bored to death de leh ... today didn't do much thing ... just now when out 30 min to eat laksa den come back le ... den stay at home do nothing ... also dun have place to shop ... bored !

i miss you =(

2010-02-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

tomolo ! yes ! tomolo ! tomolo is the day ! haha ...
celebrating my first valentine day with my bf ...
haha ... so happy ... and finally can spent time with him le ...
the past few days also cannot spend time with him
cause he got exam ...
wan to stay with him while he study also cannot
cause he say he will get distracted
so i stone alone at home ...
now he finally finish exam le ...
but den i going to have my exam le ...
sianz ...
but it's ok ...
he can accompany me =)
i dun mind distraction ...
haha ...
kk i go sleep first ...
so tomolo will have strength to play...
haven even started exam revision...
GG ... cause new year coming ...
i holiday mood le ...
haha ... tomolo going play whole day ...
not gonna care ... hahahahahaha~

2010-02-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

my sis told me of a funny topic that her teacher decided to bomb her class with...

You are a chicken in a coop about to be culled because of bird flu.

that's the title... so i decided to wrie a essay since it has been 2 years that i last wrote one. i king of changed the title ... pardon my bad english... so here it goes !

name: dorothy kee cai zhen
topic: A chicken escape !

As now I lay, resting in my own tiny cozy little coop, nursing my babies, hoping that they would grow freely and would never have to go through what I had been through. I could still remember my younger days. Days where I live as one of the thousands of chickens in Malayan hen farm. The humans wanted us to lay eggs and in exchange, we get food and a small place to live. Everyone was so used to the feeling of watching your own egg which contains your baby roll down that conveyer belt that leads to a place of no returns. All was well till Henny, my neighbor, was diagnosed with bird flu. The humans decided to wipe out everyone of us in order to stop the spreading of the diseases which would result in a loss of their profits. Then the nightmare begins.

It all happened on a Monday morning, 6am. I was jolted out of my sleep by a terrible, pungent smell that was lingering in the air. Several masked men approaches with white gloves stained red with blood. At the corner of my eyes I could see a huge fire burning on a pile of charcoal. Oh hang on. Is that Mary that I see? What is she doing in that pile of charcoal? Oh wait a second! They are trying to kill us all! Burning us up leaving no traces behind! Leaving hardly any time for my tiny brain to process all that is happening in front of my eyes, a hand reach in and grab me by my neck. Gasping for air, choking, I tried my best to scream. But to no avail. “I must do something! I do not want to die! Life is not just behind cage. I want to see the world outside!” and with that, I mustered up my courage and with one last forceful kick, I managed to scratch the human grabbing on to me. Blood ooze out from his wound. With a jerk, the grip on my neck loosens. With no time to loose or think of where to go, I just ran as fast as my legs can go, dogging between gigantic legs with a few giant humans running after me. Anywhere will do. As long as it leads me out of this whole massacre. As I was running aimlessly, I saw a narrow gap between two huge cargo boxes. Without thinking, I dashed towards the gap and pray with all my heart that I would be able to make it through. And I did. Through the gap and out of the gates. I am free! I dash into the bushes and ran. This time, my heart was not filled with fear but with excitement and curiosity. It was the first time I felt wet mud under my feet. The smell of fresh air and the sound of nature surround me. Never once I felt so at ease. As night falls, I searched for a place to rest and I found this place. Here, I know I will be safe. This is home.

I know deep in my heart that I am the lucky one out of the thousands of my kind who are burned alive in that faithful, blood-filled Monday morning. I am satisfied to know that I have the privilege to watching my youngling grow and to be able to walk in this sweet smelling forest of the earth.

2010-01-26T21:18:00.000-08:00

exams round corner
no more play time
sianz
was talking to my friends about some friendship stuff
come to think of it have anyone of you been with ppl you cannot cliche with ?
it's just weird
no matter wat you do, you always feel like there is something like an invisible wall between
whereas others were like so easy to be friends with
just a simple introduction and there you are
maybe not best of friends but at least acquaintance?
but den on the other hand there is always someone other there whom you either just quarrel practically every time you see each
(just like my brother and me...
it's said that our Chinese zodiac sign repelled...
but who knows for sure...
maybe it is his character? >.<)
and other ppl whom you feel uncomfortable with?
like nothing much to talk about?
or someone just too sensitive about stuff that you are scared to say anything because you might say something tat would hurt them even though you dun mean it?
and you can't just ignore them because they are in your group for project
tat sux
i know
been there done that
there is just lots and lots of stuff to learn other than studying in school
just book book books
so boring
need to learn more about relationships
haha
at least it will be useful
just hope tat i dun just mess everything up
hopefully
*keep my finger crossed*

2010-01-25T07:12:00.000-08:00

ahh ... i went to perm my hair ...
now it looks like kinda messy and stuff ...
sianz ...
tomolo i will go and wash le ...
cannot tahan till 3 days ...
super oily due to the sculpting lotion tat the hairdresser put ...
haha ...
den i gonna have it curl big big =)
and den i got a Estee Lauder advance night repair for my dark eye rings ...
finally my eye got cure le !!!
plus i got a lavender cologne from nakafurano hokkaido ^^
smell damn nice ...
haha ...
xiiaodor is all in to beauty stuff now ...
wahahahahaha ...

2010-01-08T04:52:00.000-08:00

my internet is going on and off for a few days now
and i notice tat it always happen when my siblings on their computers as well
and since their holidays is over,
tat means tat there will be internet for me !
hurray !
anyway, since i had not been available to update my blogs,
i have decided to have a mass upload !
here it go !

12 dec

went to celebrate my birthday with my family. we went to eat at a buffet restaurant. because there was a special promotion going on, (50% discount-as in 1pax free 1pax) my family have only 5 person so we get to bring another person. called my maid to go together. but she wasn't keen. den i called dar along. but dar need to do his project as he need to meet his friend in the late evening. was kinda disappointed but oh well, who could say no to project work which is pending and due in a few weeks time ? in the end, my dad called my cousin, edwin, to come along. my dad called him like very randomly. but he tried (at least from wat i know he tried very hard) to make it sound natural... but it feel awkard. LOL... dun know wat to say... so here is the picture of the desserts tat me and my siblings plus my cousin ate...

i think it is enough to start a musical... LOL ...
here's more...

nice right ... colour very pretty...

love this the most =)

after which i went to sign the form for work at mango... dar said tat he would accompany me in for i was like kind of scared to go in alone... (i wasn't very good with adults expecially ppl that i am not very close with...) but in the end he was late... and i would not want to be late... (given the fact tat i totally forgot about the first meeting) so i went in myself... it was quite ok... at least there were some other 16 years old girls and i made friends in like 3 mins... LOL ... i guess i must be friendly =) after which dar arrived and we when shopping around... have quite a fun time with dar... love it =)

13 dec
went to celebrate my birthday with darling... thanks darling for making my day =) we went somerset 313 to shop... can feel tat he did many research and plan the outing painstakingly =) just feel so touch by your efforts and den we went to eat at machei (dun know how to spell... ) the food there was quite ok... but it had a very strong herb taste to it ... we spend about 60 dollars on dinner... (feel kinda bad spending so much of darling's hard earn money) dar bought me a LAMY fountain pen tat we previously saw at takashimaya... anyway he gave it to me at the very beginning where he came and fetch me at my house... i guessed it was a pen and i knew it was a fountain pen because it came in a takashimaya paper bag and i kept pressing it and it feels like a pen but den dun know what the rectangular thing i felt inside was... (it was actually the pen ink refill ) LOL... so at least there was suspends on the pack of ink refill =)

we went to drink some coffee and took some photos...

really appreciate what you have done darling... whenever i look back to our photos, it never fails to make me smile and miss you even more... love you to bits and peices! <3

15 dec
it's my birthday it's my birthday it's my birthday it's my birthday it's my birthday! felt like i was like getting old... they said tat 18 years old is the prime youth of a girl's life... but why do i feel so old? hmm... strange... but anyhow, i am gonna devote this prime youth of my life to my darling baby caleb... big value, big treasure... be sure to make this worth while ! hahaha... (to caleb: hehe stressed not ?)

18 dec
went to eat at naked fish to celebrate ray's as well as my birthday... the food there was nice... as it was student price so it was kinda affortable... but it does not have much of a variaty though... den yiling, vivien and me was like talking about the movie twilight... yiling support edward... vivien and me where more towards jacob ... nice tone, nice muscule... nice eye candy ... but den back to real life ... i got dar ... also have sexy body ^^

22 dec
yiling, vivien and me baked cookies at my house today ... here are some of the photos...

~

yiling in action

stiring, stiring, still stiring

nice right? it's for christmas... first try we make a big ginger breadman cookie... however when we took it out of the oven, it break into 3 parts... sads* so we ate it our self >.< it was hard like rock ... but den it tasted quite ok ... after 3 rounds of baking, at last we bake some not-so-hard cookies... finnally a what we called successful cookie... LOL ... and we found out tat the first batch of cookie wasn't so hard after a few hours of cooling (i put it infront of my kitchen's air vendilator) LOL ... but i had fun with the girls! girls rox! ^^

24 dec
Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle all the way! christmas is apporaching soon! met up with chu qiao and watched alvin and the chipmunks 2... very cute the chipettes... thay can sing and dance... was very entertained by it... i know it was so dorothy right ? always entertained by lame stuff... after that went to drink some alchol with them ... i order some cuba libra... have no idea what it is... but it was nice =) haha ...

27 dec
happy birthday chu qiao! so sad tat she fell sick on her birthday... get well soon ok ? love ya ! today work morning shift ... love morning shift ... at least you got some spare time at night to chill ... dar was suppose to fetch me from work but he was late =( oh well ... kinda expected it ... after tat we went k box to sing and den i ordered house volka mix with coke ... it was nice =) after which met andy, travis, mike and ying zhen... they were at takashimaya (we were at orchard ion) what a coicidence... den ying zhen and mike went home... so andy and travis, caleb and me went to my house (as well as andy house) nearby de coffee shop eat sting ray ... very spicy ... but very nice =) was very happy today becausei can finally meet up with darling ... previously he was very busy... missed him like mad... even bobo can't cure me ... LOL ... i need to sleep now damn tired... snores* Zzz ...

today
wanted to go get i phone but den need cancel my line need pay 300++ so in the end decided to wait till july to get the phone ... meet dar at compass point ... (thanks for rushing down to meet me) every thing was fine until at the assesory shop ... haiz ...

no matter how sian you are,
you also should just say
suan le... bu xiang gen ni suo le... wo huan qian jiu zou le...
in a very irritated tone
and den just turn and walk away
very attitude ...
it hurts...

2009-12-08T23:20:00.000-08:00

哈哈！终于能够上网了！都过了好久的时间。。。网络联系出问题，没能够上网。实在是痛苦。连家都不想回了。只想呆在学校里用电脑。由于这期间是考试时期，也没能和男朋友见面。哎哟，真是郁闷啊！我现在是有点儿不高兴。因为刚才和他通电话时，对我说的话让我觉得有点带刺。对于朋友，这样的交谈方式是没错。但若是交谈的对方是女朋友的话，我觉得很不适当。这一点我也不是没有提醒过他。但也清楚地明白一日间改过几乎是不可能的。说我小气也好，说我计较也罢。自己本身也很想就这么算了。但心头上的阵阵酸痛又是怎么一回事？就算是我太敏感了。但这也不是我所希望的。起初都说过了。爱情实在是不容易。最近想了很多。。。是我想太多了吗？

2009-11-29T06:56:00.000-08:00

Tears

i never once wanted to let you see
the tears that flows from my eyes
thou i tried to hide
like emotions pouring out from my heart
the tears that flows from my eyes
carries my pain and agony
which words cannot describe
i hate the part of me
which hides and cries
alone in the lonely night
many times i wish to the stars above
grant me strength make me strong
so that i shall never cry alone
as times flies and years gone by
i am still a little girl
whose tears had never dry

2009-11-23T17:04:00.001-08:00

yesterday finish my business software ica 1
20 marks fly
really GG
haiz
anyway, today never attend lect at all
haha
cause i over slept >.< jialat i think going debar le going sick le down with the flu going sleep now nites~
='(

dar dun worry about me le
i will get well soon
concentrate on your studies ok?
love you =)

2009-11-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

tomolo have business software ica
now 2 am le
haven sleep
have no clue
too blur to everything
never attended a test
so blur before
wish me all the best
to my GG business software
>.<

when i open my books,
you are all that i see.
at the end of the day,
you are all that i remember
like the shadow,
you are my motivation

2009-11-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

really cannot stand my internet sia
until now den can online
den keep going on and off
damn sian de lei
was supper dupper bored at home just now
dun know do wat
sianz
i wan watch my movie - 妻子的诱惑
haha
nice sia
betrayal and vengeance
of romance
but den very draggy
120++ ep
haha
tat will keep me occupied for quite a while
>.<
i miss dar

just now when buying waffer i dun feel good
maybe is because of being reminded of the problem
tat stands between us
tat sometimes make me feel tat this is wrong
tat sometimes make me feel tat i am obstructing you
tat sometimes make me feel so distant from you
tat sometimes make me feel so unease
and even thought of giving up
it makes me sad to think of it
do we not belong to each other?

2009-11-10T07:26:00.000-08:00

i am bored !!!

seriously...
my life revolves around studies...
with nothing interesting...
(except romance)
so stressed up ...
marketing dun know, stats dun know, macroecons dun know ho to count
and there is the stats project and marketing project due next tues !!!
ahhhh~
this time die till jialat jialat ...
today gave myself a break ...
tomolo must chiong !

chiong project !

come to think of it,
love is just the picture...
either you cross when it is there
or you dun
and there is no second chance...
so if she is worth the risk,
den go for it
but if she dun,
dun even borther
cause there will always be another traffic sign flashing:
"I LOVE YOU"
just make sure you open your heart and take a look
the one for you might be the one with you

dar
i am lonely without you
i miss you
hope to receive your call soon
i love you

2009-11-06T07:41:00.000-08:00

came across this interesting article on the net (MSN)
while waiting for dar to call me
he is studying...
since 8pm...
(but how come so long sia... 11.45 pm aready lei)
anyway, there is it... enjoy =)

girls! please do not date these guys!

Mr Tin Heart

The emotionally unavailable man has been the pitfall of many single women. Yet, he's the easiest of the species to spot. So why do we get ourselves into such a mess with him when we usually know early on that it would sooner snow in Singapore before you can get him to commit?

“These women really believe that they can change a man's mind about being with them, or they simply make themselves believe they can, because they feel like they have no other choice,” explains Sally Reeves* a relationship counselor.

There's usually a reason why these men can't commit. Your job isn't to figure out why that reason has come to be, but instead, if it's a reason that's actually good enough for you. If it is, then may be you need to look at yourself and ask "why don't I find somebody who is ready for commitment?" says Susan Jeffers, author of 'Opening Our Hearts To Men.'

#1 Playa

He's the perfect lover, makes you feel like you're the queen of his world and that he's perched you high above a pedestal away from any other woman in his sight. He's well-dressed, charming, witty, funny, and his manners are impeccable. He's out to make an impact on the women he makes, and he'll definitely make that impact on you...and every other woman that tickles his fancy.

Every woman will come across at least one of this kind in her lifetime, and while the charm and attention may be extremely flattering, don't be fooled. You know you'll be nursing a broken heart when he gets bored.

Mr Mummy

In Western cultures, any 20something year old man still living under his parent's roof would (almost literally) be laughed out of house and home. While the same concept cannot be applied here in Asia, it's not hard to spot a mummy's boy.

The signs aren't even subtle. He's always going to choose is mum (or aunt or sister) over you. And while there may be times he's hesitant about making that decision, make no mistake, the end outcome will always be the same: Mum 1 - You 0.

What's worse, when things don't work out, he'll believe that the issues lay with you not trying hard enough to get along with his family.

Tan Sri Lambat (a.k.a. Sir Late-A-Lot)

If he knows he's made an appointment to meet you at a certain time, yet can't be bothered to plan around that accordingly, he's pretty much saying, "I'm unreliable, disorganised and I don't really respect your time."

“Every time you break a time promise there is a consequence and you are sending a subtle message to the person you stood up that they are less important than you or whatever you were doing” Karen Kawalec*, a behavioral specialist and counsellor from the UK. "Do this enough, and you’ll strain the relationship you have with this person for the long term. It also says that you aren’t responsible, reliable, or maybe even sincere and honest.”

Mr Office-Is-My-Home

We applaud men with ambition. We applaud their dreams and aspirations and seriously, that go-getter attitude is sexy! But there's a time and place for everyone, and no job needs to be worked at all day, every day.

On the plus side, the workaholic is always well-dressed with impeccable manners and an admirable knowledge of many things. He knows how to make you feel like a real lady. On the other hand, dinner dates (if they hadn't already been cancelled) will usually turn into a solo affair, with you picking at the food while he screams down the phone about some deal or the other.

However, we're not going to relegate all workaholics to the no-fly zone of dead beat men. You'll have to exercise some discretion, and patience, to sort through the ones you can deal with and the absolute no-hopers.

Mr Whiny

This guy's self-esteem has fallen so low, it's almost made friends with the Hobbits of middle Earth. But, he doesn't think it's his fault; it's always someone else's.

Maira*, a psychologist of 10 years says, “as an adult, pity becomes a burden. It's almost endearing for a child to be sucking its thumb and clutching a blanket. For an adult, well... you're not going win a whole lot of admiration among your peers! Pity disconnects you. It disconnects you from yourself, from other people, from your world, and from your won control.”

His constant belief that he is the victim means he's always seeking attention and becomes distressed when he feels he isn't getting what he needs. While some women's overpowering maternal instinct draws them to men like this, eventually, they will get tiring.

Mr Quick Trick

Admittedly, everyone lies. But, this lying leech has an excuse for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

At the start of you relationship, the fibs were subtle. You knew there was something not quite right about his explanation but he backed it up with something solid, so you let him get away with it. But, the more he gets away with, the bigger his lies get.

"It's like he couldn't help himself and was addicted to lying!" says Shauna* of her ex. "I used to believe him at first because they were just little things, but eventually, they became so frequent, and sometimes were even so ridiculous I actually felt embarrased for him!"

The Ex Texter

There's nothing wrong with being friends and keeping in touch with your ex, but too much contact can prove detrimental to future relationships.

“When you continue an emotional relationship with someone instead of letting go, you will usually have subconscious feelings for them or realise that the feelings never went away, which can be damaging to new or potential relationships,” Sally* says. “But, you get a rush from doing it and from hearing back, and it's naughty, yet safe in its own right."

The Game Boy

Nothing wrong with a man and his game console...unless he chooses it over you.

“In the broad sense, it’s (consoles) a substitute for social interaction, or just another outlet” explains Ken Lee*, who works in a computer games outlet. “Computer games represent an individual challenge for men and can be a way of relaxing.”

In a way, gaming to men is what shopping is to women - therapy. But, that doesn't mean we shop all the time. The absolute danger sign ladies, is when he calls in sick at work because (a) he didn't sleep the night before battling zombies or (b) he needs the day to advance to the next level. When that happens, either 'accidentally' trip and spill a mug of hot tea over the console, or, if you fear that may endanger your life lest he rage at you, just leave his keys by the door and leave. You'll be better of for doing it.

i thought about tat incident tat happen just now

never expect you would do tat to me

never once in my life anyone did tat to me

i gave in and yet i get a straight rejection

right up my face

i really dun know wat to say

ego, pride, i have them all

thou i ain't a man

it still matters...

2009-10-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

no mood for blog...
just a sentence,

Et tu Brute, then fall Caesar

i know tat i am very sensitive
maybe unreasonable
but i just wanna say
i am too tired
sorrie to make you feel sian
i never did it on purpose =(

2009-10-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

haha... very long never update le...
lazy >.<
with a blink blink of an eye, the first week of school reopen pass le
this time no more dar dar to accompany me le...
no more dar to make me laugh, accompany me when i am lonely,when i am on my way home
and no one to play with during lect... and no one to help me carry lap top =x
i miss dar lots T.T
anyway, during the holiday, other than working, i went to prawning!
very very fun =)
at first i went there together with my ben and jerry girls
den caught 16 prawns in 3 hours
den after tat decided to bring dar there
and dar say is my first time planning our outing
haha... planning place very ma fan de
so give dar do >.<
den we caught 18 prawns
and the best part is we get to bbq on the spot and eat
wahahahaha
very sweet and delicious
like the prawns there is the nicest to eat de!
but den like very sad for the prawns
first they get hook in the mouth and pulled up,
den poke from the tail all the way to the head using satay stick by me
and they are jumping for dear life, desperately trying to cut me
and i forgot dar never pluck of 2 of the prawn pincer den they cut me T.T
i got a few cuts on my hands
(but it's ok... i got my revenge... i ate them! muahahahaha! evil* )
but poor thing sia... they get bbq alive...
and the prawns which are still alive are like watching their friends get "cleaned" by me
and bbq alive by me
worse torture ever
but yet they are still so tasty~
dar said it was expensive
true... but to me still acceptable because it's fun and yummy^^
wan to go back there again~
but must spare a thought for dar's pocket
feel bad spending his money
come to think of it, i still not really used to spending his money
like my friends, they spend their bf money like it was meant to be for them to spend
not gulity at all de ...

i love you
i miss you
i want you
<3 caleb <3

2009-09-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

ok
so my blog is dead, my plurk is totally dead too
LOL
so today i am in the mood of blogging
so i shall blog a supper dupper long one
so bear with me =)
i shall start with my darling =D
~
so we when for our first time ever picnic
and it was very funny
we went botanic garden
he bought white wine
and we play some mini games
like the losser got to drink
LOL
after just 15min of arriving there,
he got kinda high
and den he started doing very random stuff
but it ok
it made me laugh alot
and it was very enjoyable for me
cause it is my first offical picnic
LOL
oh, and i made sushi myself =)
we have normal sushi like the egg and the hotdog 1
and den i made the salmon sushi
as well as jap rice with salmon eggs
haha
we were having fun
but 1 problem is we found out tat sushi didn't go well with white wine
so ppl, do not try it
LOL
dar vomitted =(
but me, having super dupper strong stomach
feel alright
hahaha

high person+rice monster=our picnic

~
i got my results
2.9 GPA
very very sad and emo
so i went to bought a DS to lighten my mood
red and black in colour
my friend told me it was limited edition
LOL
i wan to download new games
so any one know where to download?
~
yesterday quarrel with my mum
cause i think she went over board
yesterday around 10.30, she force me to off the com
cause she say eyes will spoilt
den i play my ds, she say cannot
den i wan to use my phone to message dar
she also dun allow
den i was so angry
she wanted to keep my ds for the night too
den it was the last straw for me
i scream at her
den totally rebel
LOL
~
today work at meidi-ya, liang court again
good thing is that the sushi there is very fresh very nice
bad thing is no customer
den today there was this 2 person tat was stalking us
(1 girl and 1 half girl half guy)
trying to take picture of us
but den they were so super duper dumb at hiding
tat it was so obvious tat they were like taking pic of us
i dun like the feeling of someone sneaking around
so i called the in-charge to comfirm if they are sent by them
(i am so gonna call the manager if they are not)
they are sent by them
so i went up to them and tell them staright tat
no photo taking is allowed here
and tat they have alerted the manager and supervisor
den tat half girl half guy was very scared when i approach
LOL
funny sia
den i complain to dar about it
den dar was like saying i was short-tempered
but dun you get irritated when there is no sale
and there is 2 monkeys tat is trying to be funny
and getting on your nerves?
plus they are very very young
15? 16?
and once you get discovered, shouldn't you stop wat you are doing?
or maybe just come up front and intro yourself ?
you dun go around sneaking when you are discovered
and act as if nothing happens
the three of us are really angry...
so was kinda dissapointed when dar said i was short-tempered
he dun understand...

=(

2009-09-12T09:01:00.000-07:00

so here i am,
just finish work
reach home with sore legs as usual
hope i can get more money
so tat i can buy nice thing from dar
and eat good food together
using my own money
and not my parent's money
anyway
i am working at liang court meide-ya
lol
some ulu place tat i never heard of before
anyway,
when i was there,
i found out tat some singaporeans kids are like totally spoilt brat
they are very rude
you give den free sample,
not only they dun say thank you,
they say "woah, so little" or "so slow"
and den they keep coming back for more
and den they will ask out loud "is it free?"
den when they know it is free,
they will say "mom/dad, it's FREE !"
they will say it so loud as if their parent's is like at the end of the corridor
when their parents is just beside them
and surprisingly,
the parents didn't say anything
never teach tem the right way
and still let them be
whereas,
japan, korea, westerners, their kid are more polite
more gentle and adorable =)

2009-09-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

女儿：妈妈我要听美人鱼的故事！

妈妈：很久很久以前，海里住着一个很漂亮的鱼美人。她是美人鱼公主里最年轻，最漂亮的公主。她拥有动人的声音，响亮的歌声。也是海底王的掌上明珠。后来，美人鱼爱上了人类王子。为了要和她心爱的王子在一起，她便和海底的巫婆做交易。用她那响亮的声音来换人类的一双脚。并且要在一天的时间让王子亲她。否则，她将会永远消失。后来王子爱上了美人鱼从此他们过着快乐幸福的日子。

这美人鱼的故事，家喻户晓，大家都听说过。但是美人鱼的故事不只又这一种说法。另一种说法是美人鱼没能在一天的时间内让王子爱上她。于是她变成了泡沫，从此漂浮在海面上。或者美人鱼的姐姐们为了要救她们的妹妹而用她们最漂亮的头发来换回妹妹的性命。

而真实世界里的我仿佛处在美人鱼的处境里。做了和美人鱼一样的选择。爱上了不该爱的人，看似不可能的爱情，终究会是个怎样的结局？又会在哪一页画上句点呢？

2009-09-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

一个没有保障的未来...
一个进退两难的困境。。。
这真是我要走的路吗？
前途一片漆黑。。。
是对是错又有谁的判定。。。
掌心是肉掌背也是肉。。。
难道非得伤一个不可？
爱好难
我为什么要爱呢
痛苦，伤心，难过
从希望到失望到绝望
明明经历过但为和历史又重演呢？

wat did i do wrong
wat did i do to deserve this ?
why must it be like this ?

2009-08-31T20:34:00.000-07:00

hi peeps ! it has been a long time since i last updated my blog ... LOL ... so now, i am having my holidays ... working as ben and jerry promoter ... hmm ... okok lor the job ... got nice ice cream to eat ... but just tat i, having the loudest voice of them all, got to shout the promotion out ... LOL ... but it is only on weekends thou ... and i thought i could like get some rest, slack at home during weekdays ... but my mum keep asking me to do this do that ... man ... i would rather go out work if this is the case ... andway, i also dun really like the idea of staying at home in the first place ... so now here i am, looking for weekdays job ... so those of you who have any job offer pls call me or just leave me a message ... cause xiiaodor ihere is trying her very best to find excuses to get out of her home ... btw, iam playing maple currently ... any one care to join may do so =) this time it is so easy to level ...

yesterday when to ikea together with dar and his friends ... LOL ... when there just for a lunch den go off le ... after that went to shop around at ikea ... saw alot of very nice furniture ... so amazed by them ... can't wait to have my own little cozy home >.<

i love you <3

2009-08-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

WARNING-THIS POST IS JUST FOR XIIAODOR TO RELEASE HER STRESS/BORDOM/ANGER/DISAPOINTMENT ETC.
you might wanna skip this post as you might not know wat i am talking at all thanks =)

my sharepoint project is SO GG now... really feel very sian because of that... before presentation we dun even have time to rehearse and we just go and present it on the spot... did all research, summerize, put in the product, edit dwt, woke up early in the morning and meet up painstakingly, and end up the whole thing didn't work out well ... our form, dun even have a submit button... and when teacher ask if we got any additional software that we use or learn, we got nothing... no thumb nails, no music... even the video can't work... totally sian... and even after the presentation, ray said that we shouldn't listen to caleb and that i should do the form myself... i wasn't very happy upon hearing that... i mean, who go and buy the ribbon? i asked yan hong go she also dun know wat... den wat you wan me to do? but i didn't do anything cause i know everyone was really very sian because of the project thing... but hey, look on the bright side, there would be no more projects for this semester... was very tired today, after waking up at 5 am... so i slept during the whole journey home... sorrie darling... i cannot tahan le ... sorrie to make you feel so bored on the way home today... and thank you for accompaning me after i reach home... love you lots =) i stay up too many late nights and all those nagging from my mum and not forgetting my popo ... i got double of the nagging and scolding intake that i use to endure... these really stress me out ... and exam approching den still got alot of things to study... haiz... just now when to relax a bit by watching 命中注定我爱你... got quite alot of sad scene... cried quite a lot (as most of you know, xiiaodor is the typical kind of girl who cry in front of korea dramas and even normal show as long as there is sad or touching scenes...) so kinda distressed... feeling better now...

darling, you were asking if you made me feel insecured
seriously i dun know how to answer
cause i dun really know wat is the feeling of insecure
i tend to get jealous very easily
so simply things such as talking to a girl, laughing and having fun would trigger the jealousy in me
and that i seek a lot of attention from you
i am still trying my very best to keep them under control
might be better now bah
actually i also not very sure
LOL
i know you are aware of these and that you did try and make an effort to accommodate me in these areas
i just wan you to know that i got notice all the little things tat you do and i really appreciate it =)
just now when you call me i was worried for you cause i cannot get to you after so long and was feeling quite down because of the above reasons
sorrie darling for the sian tone just now T.T
love you lots =)

2009-08-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

sianz... project really tire me out ... i am exhasted from all those projects... chiong ... it is really quite a waste of time and things are just so difficult to be done... not to mention all those datelines... design school was stressful... and i thought no place could be worse... but business school isn't any where better... oh well, i guess the grass is always greener on the other side... today is quite a bad day for both darling and me... darling lost his thumbdrive and was feeling sian... and eventually got angry and punched the wall... whereas i got totally stressed out by the project and got to rush down to AMK to buy the props needed for tomolo's presentation at 9am... and till now it is still no where near finishing... and den i got to rush farah to do the membership card for me because my adobe software decided to turn its back on me... i got to find the original cd and reinstall it... i can't find it anywhere so basically it's GG for my adobe program... really sorrie farah ! and thank you very very much for your help! tomolo i gonna meet sab in school at 6 am ! which means tat i gonna wake up at 5 am! and i seriously dun think i will be able to make it on time... but if i dun, the project will die... so die die must go ... hope nothing cog up tomolo and i will be able to get a taxi tomolo! got to go sleep ... even though just 3 hours but it is better than nothing ... so i shall end here ! goodnite everyone !

darling dun feel sian already
you got to take care of your hand
dun injured yourself just to release anger
it is precious to both you and me
love you <3

2009-07-31T05:31:00.000-07:00

i am sick.
yes.
i am very very very sick.
having severe cough, fever, sore throat, running nose and body-ach is no joke.
it feels like my bones are gonna break anytime soon
oh ... and not to mention that i have to take like 12 tablets and 6 5ml of cough syrup per day
ppl say if you eat too much medi you gonna get more risk of having poor memory
jialat ...
my memory already majiam goldfish
if degraded den like wat siol ?
*desperately eating more fish to have better memory...*
oh ... wait a minute... maybe tuna brain works better !
LOL
today i feel better ... alot better
fever gone down ...
tat's why suddenly become so crappy...
LOL ...
everyone in my class is sick now ...
most of them
so my class is being closed till next thursday
good news and bad news
bad news: gonna miss revision lecture where teacher will give hints
and especially so for ppl who had been saying gonna retake module, fail etc(example:yiling)
chill girl ... you are a smart kid =)
good new: get to sleep/rest and get well soon ...
tat's all for the day folks ! gonna sleep ... man i feel drowsy ... Zzz

love you to bits and pieces
really appreciate tat you took the effort to come and meet me =)
happy*

2009-07-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

i am suppose to be asleep by now
but i decide to be naught once in awhile >.<
just realize tat i had not blog for very very very long time ...
so just popping by for a short while
i am very very tired...
there is lots of presentation and all project are due in a week
and i dun like sharepoint
so troublesome and we have to make a personal web page
it is fun if you know how to do
but it is very time consumming
and IT idiots like me have totally no hope in doing it
Farah i hope you were right beside me and helping me like you always did when we were in design class >.<
seriously, and all this trouble for only just 10 marks
oh man ... totally sian-ed ...
everyone was so stressed this week

and that's about it ... will talk more after presentation ends ... see you !

i just love the way you work
love to look at you quietly as you work
but i dun like it when you are stress
you look like you are gonna kill/eat me
anytime any moment
if i were to make a sound >.<

2009-07-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

tired tired tired ...

today xiiaodor woke up late and went school late ...
so xiiaodor took a taxi as usual
and den when she is waiting for the taxi,
arkbah spotted her and he requested to share the cab with her
so when xiiaodor reached the school
and she was like running in heels
so tat she would not be late to tap her admin card
and caleb's admin card ...
(btw, her bf is not with her today as he was busy working the night before
and xiiaodor wanted him to rest at home...)
xiiaodor successfully tapped the card at 10.17 ...
"lucky girl !" xiiaodor thought to herself...
today lesson was quite interesting for xiiaodor,
as the lectural was sharing interesting stories about the economic...
xiiaodor had a fun time laughing...
straight after the lecture,
xiiaodor gave herself 1 hour to eat and by 12.30,
she started on her econs project with only zulaiha and sab ...
after which saw yang came for about 2 hours and left...
followed by zulaiha at 7pm ...
xiiaodor realise that when people are stressed up,
they tend to do alot of thinks tat are out of the ordinary...
saw yang was singing songs and walking on table tops...
sab kept falling asleep...
guess she must be really tired...
zulaiha feel like screamming out loud and dancing ...
she sang the dancing queen out loud ...
and xiiaodor kept supporting her head and giving the dazed look ...
after which she gradually gave the zombie look ...
after 8 hours of doing the project,
xiiaodor's brain juice is all maxed out !
tat's it !
she can't take it anymore!
so that's the end of the project meeting...
so xiiaodor now is left with report ...
after the meeting,
xiiaodor when to eat dinner at the school mac with her bf ...
tat is when her bf suddenly surprised her with a gift!
guess wat is the gift ?

it's a red rose !
it was so pretty !
xiiaodor love it very much...
it is the first time xiiaodor receive a rose which is beautifully wrapped...

xiiaodor also missed yiling cute dog-kiki

cute rite ?
xiiaodor just LOVE animals =)

thank you darling for giving me such a lovely surprise ...
LOVE YOU LOTS <3>

2009-07-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

today woke up straight away when to yiling house to study afa
but the outcome
is
i still dun understand
so i short,
GLHF
to my afa test tomolo
LOL
but den i did have fun playing with yiling's dog kiki
got some photos
but i am too lazy to upload
so yeah
and 1st time i really have the chance to walk a dog
never try before
fun sia
but if every day need like tat do sure very boring de
got to run after the dog
~
after tat when to watch harry potter
(WARNING: spoiler coming up...)
dumbeldor die
even though i went to the movie knowing that dumbeldor will die
but i still feel sad
i love that seem so hug-able grandpa
why die sia
sads
harry potter isn't cute anymore
ron isn't getting any better
but
Hermione was pretty
jennywas pretty too
but i prefer Hermione
~
today was the 19th
was quite sian
cause for the whole day dar couldn't contact me much
during the day he have church
den after the church thing
hp no batt
and den after that i got to watch movie
and he is busy making the phone stuff
den now i reach home and as i am typing this blog i am waiting for his reply
and so the day passed like tat
yesterday afternoon didn't manage to talk to him much too
cause he is attending li sze bday celebration
oh well,
i guess stuff like that happens too
i think i better get use to it soon
~~

Addicted To You

Why can't I stop
Stop thinking of you
I try to fill my day
With lots of things to do

But I continue to drift
Wondering where you are
Do you have any idea
That on my heart you've left a scar

You have priorities
Places you have to be
I'm just so very sad
There's no place for me

I fell in love with you
The keeper of my heart
It's just very hard for me
Since we've been apart

I think you're amazing
A very wonderful man
You pulled me in your web
I became your greatest fan

Just thinking of you
Makes my heart race
There's no one like you
Who brings a glow to my face

Did you ever stop to see
That each time we were together
I would melt within your eyes
A feeling I'll always treasure

When I stop to think
All that we've been through
I can't help but realize
I'm addicted to you.

-Romantic Lover

2009-07-18T04:43:00.000-07:00

ahhhh ... very tired ...
i just finish making an attempt to study some accounts stuff
but i am still very loss about it ...
like totally cannot anderstand and there is so many things to remember sia
and there is a test on monday
OMG
xiiaodor is so gonna be dead
so tomolo going to yiling's house to study
i so wan to see her dog kiki
hope tomolo i will manage to study
and no playing with her dog the whole time
LOL
~
nowadays my laptop so lag
dun know wat happen sia
as i am now typing this blog, the letters will come out 1 sec after i type
not like usual
it will come out striaght away as i type
maybe because my dad downloaded the 3 software
for watching his tai ji stuff
he also downloaded it on my brother's desktop
den my bro also complain that the things make it laggy
so might be it bah
LOL
i guess i really need a re format of this lappy
but den need hard disk
i dun have sia
Zzz
so laggy
cannot play waka waka
always lose and den you also cannot see where you are going
just keep stucked to one side
only can guess where the monsters are at
den use 6th sense to run away
LOL
~
(sorrie ... this post a bit long cause xiiaodor is bored and is in the mood of typing)
dar is now together with his friends celebrating li sze's birthday
sure have lots of fun de
too bad i can't go
i wanna play too T.T
but den no money sia ...
dun feel like going to shopping and stuff without cash with me
~
tomolo daddy is gonna bring us all to watch harry potter
woo~
happy*
whole family go watch movie
wahahahahahah
but hope this time no need to explain things to my parents
LOL
they always watch finish le ask me explain everything
cause they dun really understand the storyline
they only go there watch effects nia
LOL
if not, they will totally assume things and get the story all messed up
den me and my sis will be telling them the whole story line again
and den the rest of us will start debating on which of us is correct
~
and oh
my resturant city just leveled
23 le!!!
yay
happy sia
now it will soon be dar turn
hehe
catching up soon le
~

darling darling darling
i am missing you already
thank you for the box you gave me
i love it =)
although you lied to me that your bro need it for some art thing
and i really believed you
Zzz
but since you made it so well and it looks kinda cute
so i have decided to forgive you =)
hehe

2009-07-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

xiiador is having monday blues
monday is a tiring day
after school stay back to study but didn't manage to study much
was so tired that i could doze off any where
can't set my mind into study mood
and attempting to study at home is no good
my mum will pop in every now and den
bring food, water, fruits, scolding either my bro or sis
or simply just on tele and watch korea drama
and not forgetting my bed is just behind me
there is just so much distraction
and den she just now scolded me for coming home late
~
i was in school studying
and wat is wrong with that?
you can't teach me the things i dun know
i dun have a tutor
i dun even have a elder sibling tat can teach me stuff
on the contrary, i have to help out with my siblings stuff
i even thought that i could bring my friends home to study
but you are always spying on us
making us so uncomfortable
and you can smile smile in front of them but when they are gone
you make a 180 degree turn
i have always remain more of the daddy's, mummy's girl
(even thought i still quarrel with them occasionally)
but that doesn't mean that i dun mind
the early curfews
the surrendering of hand phone at nite
the cannot close bedroom door except when changing rule
and that is just one of the few "rules"
you said it was for my own good
as the saying goes,
one man medicine is another man's venom
how do you know it is good for me when you didn't even know my opinion on it ?
i dun deny that it work sometimes
but that doesn't mean it works everytime
i am already deprive of many things
it is only recently that i started to go to places
further than compass point, hougang mall and heartland mall
and i had to go secretly
and i haven been to zoo and bird park without parents before
(except school trips)
never seen sun rise nor sun set
never get to see stars with my friends
(except last year pulau ubin camp)
never really know the transport system cause i seldom go out with friends
~
mama
you need to understand
that a bird in a cage would never fly far
and neither would it strive in the wild
mama
you need to see
that beautiful flowers bloom best in the harshest weather
and mama
i just want you to know
i love you
~

Be Mine

I'm delicately handing my heart to you,
In your caressing hands to forever keep.
I'm giving you the chance of destroying me,
And I know I'm in your love too deep.

I'm giving my entire self to you,
All of my mind, body, and soul.
Handing over to you my everything,
In hopes, you'll be the one to keep me whole.

I'm depending on your gentle and sweet love,
To get me through the tragic world each day.
I'm praying to God you'll always be here by my side,
And that's where you'll always be to stay.

Putting you over everyone else including myself,
You automatically go to the front of my line.
Which is why I'm delicately handing you my heart,
In hopes, you'll always and eternally, completely be mine.

-Face The W0rld

2009-07-11T20:24:00.000-07:00

friday after school went to study stats
with dar, yiling and andy
manage only to study topic A only
must buck up le
after that went to new york new york to eat
(thanks darling for the treat - will buy you something soon)
we ate the seafood plater for 2 at about $37
exp sia ... and the waitress put the onion rings on our table
it is not our order but we ate it without knowing it...
in the end got to pay for tat as well
~
yesterday when to watch I Love You Man
very funny
but it is kinda the guy show type
so i didn't understand some of the things they said
so when everyone was laughing
i was giving the blur face like "why is it funny" face
LOL
and dar said i was stressed
LOL
den after the movie we went shopping for abit
the ion big big shoping centre is open
then they give out free helium balloon
me, the girl with peter pan syndrome wanted one
so darling went to get 1 for me
(touched*)
i can't believe he did tat
LOL
den when we went home
mama invited caleb to eat penang laksa at my house
so we went up together
den my sis and bro's tutor wat there
he say us eating and asked if he could eat too
(he just rushed from school without eating dinner)
there is only 1 bowl of laksa there
so i made that for him
my bro, being a glutton pig
cried in front of 6 tuition mates and the teacher
OMG
i can't believe tat
and my sis said "if you can't believe tat, wat do you think of the person sitting beside him ?"
namely, my sis
tears for a bowl of laksa?
wow...
i really dun know wat to say
and my grandmother was sheltering him
this time, my mum also think it is unacceptable
because it make her embarrass
so i ask her to have a talk with him
she did
but i am not sure how she did it though
hope it was a serious talk
~
today is sun, a boring day
except for the fact that i will be having dinner today with my family
hmmm
maybe bugging my dad to bring us to the korean BBQ
LOL
playing the sim 3
wanna aim for the dream home
~

i miss you <3

2009-07-08T05:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday did my speech on 7 wonders of the world
very scared
plus i got stage fright
(lucky i manage to overcome it by getting a lot of chances to get on stage)
but this time is alone T.T
shivers*
but anyway it is over =)
~
today, got my POM
everyone get high high
i get 17/30
Zzz
but den i already know i did badly le ...
and was planning for the worse
den i know i pass
LOL
happy yet sad
LOL
~
den got dental appointment
i was so scared that i had to extract my wisdom teeth
1 came out, another is still in the process of breaking out of my gums
and another is going to come out
and den i when to the dentist
she was like looking at my wisdom teeth so seriously
and made me so nervous
i almost thought that she would ask me to go for wisdom teeth extraction
(got flash backs of the time that i when to extract my 4 teeth before i put braces)
OMG
but luckily,
she say no need
wahahahahahah
go back to school to accompany dar
hope i wasn't a distraction
i was supper high that time
laughing at every random thing that i see
~
after that when to AMK to eat
we ate Tepa-yaki
and it was the first time that dar tried it
LOL
and throughout the dinner,
we were like busy looking at the chef cooking instead of eating
LOL
and i notice tat the chef like to cook a lot of the vegetables
and then in the end he just give us the vegetable like it was free
haha
den we see the rest of the ppl's plate have heaps of vegetables
and then there is this guy who order 2 portions of vegetables
i was like staring at the mountain of vege
i think the amount of vege can stuff a cow to death
LOL
dar notice that the chef have the cut vegetable face when he cuts vege
LOL
he derive joy from cutting vege
maybe that explains why he serve large portion of vege
haha
we were like laughing at everything
at the indian lady at bubble tea store
(strawberrystrawberrystrawberry and mangomangomango)
wahahahahah
so bad
BUT
i like
>.<

with a boat,
i sail my love to you
on our river of emotions

2009-07-03T08:55:00.000-07:00

went to dar house today
initally meet at 8 am de ...
in the end reach there at 10.30am
these few days dun know why like cannot wake up on time
alarm clock ring loud loud also no use
i think i am really very tired bah
and my panda eyes is coming back to hunt me again !!!
arghhhh!!!
~
after that went to interview my dad
because of some misunderstanding between ahmad and me, we cause the whole group to wait for 2 hours...
(sorrie ppl T.T)
during the interview, my dad was very nervous
and we got to kept NG
and den he make many stunts
like interview half way forgot wat he gonna say,
den half way phone ring ...
haha
but wat to do ?
like father like daughter ...
so i guess it is all in our genes ! =)
my father's english not very good
but he still make the effort and try to pronounce it as accurately as possible
(usually the way he speaks in english is way worse off den today)
thanks daddy
no matter how others think, you are still the best daddy to me =)
~
den went to eat chomp chomp with chu qiao, sam, dar ...
and my dad drive us there
and den since he haven eat dinner,
he came and join us
it was quite weird actually,
to have a grown-up supervising us
at least this is how i feel
(xiiaodor is not really comfortable with grown-ups... and that applies to her parents as well)
but den come to think of it,
i think my dad is the one who feels the weirdest
and den he is trying his best to find a common topic with us
(effort appreciated ...)
LOL
den sam started to learn how to eat chut-chut
(some kinda shell fish)
den he is trying very hard to suck it out
LOL
and the way he do it was so funny
even my daddy was laughing
i didn't ate much of it because it was so spicy
but i did for the rest of the food though XD
and the usual big glass of sugar cane?
uh-huh, you bet...
i drank more den 1 big glass of it =)
got my best friend and her bf, my darling, my daddy, food
wahahahaha~
xiiaodor's mini heaven =)
(except for the heat... Zzz... dar was sweating throughout)
~

i know the the future
is something tat we cannot foresee
but even so
i still wan to believe in my own little fantasy
of me and you
with a happy ending ...

2009-07-02T09:15:00.000-07:00

yesterday watched ice age 3, dawn of the dinorsaurs
very funny
and again, i was very excited when i see the dinorsaurs
LOL
and today den i know the transformers is not scarry at all
i only know megan fox is very beautiful
~
went to dar house to do work but end up slacking
haha
den initally wanted to go orchard with dar and andy
but it is already 4pm and at 5pm i got econs interview at 5pm
~
went to my aunt place
proceed the interview
it was quite fun
very enjoyable
after the interview we do wat we girls always do
cam-whore !!!
and surprisingly, my aunt cam-whore with us as well
den my cousin came out den i make him help us take photos
LOL
we cam-wore all the way to the lift
having fun ...
after tat when home den dar brought my lappy for me
(thanks dar for helping me take my lappy =) if not i will be santa girl with her barang barang XD)
~

with every breath i take,
i love you more than you could ever imagine

2009-06-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

this few days is sooo super duper boring
and i never get to see dar for two days
staying at home very sian
so today finally go meet him at his house
call his hp but he never reply so stoned outside his house
until his ah ma came home
den a funny thing happen
cause i was stoning outside his house den i can feel got ppl come
den i was thinking
"like tat like very weird... like i very suspicious like tat... loitering outside ppl house..."
so i quickly press the door bell
den the ah ma call me den i shock ... straight away jump a little ...
hope she never see =X
~
slack slack awhile den do e-learning
and the e-learning thing wasn't friendly at all
very difficult to use ...
and den so confusing
dun know wat to do and the dateline all very luan
haha
end up we like study alot more >.<
~
den watch a movie on his laptop dun remember the movie
but it was an action pack movie
very nice
wahahaha tomolo shall be fun !
i think ...
~

i dun know since when,
my heart isn't ruled by my brain anymore
it just won't follow the command given
uncontrollable heart.

2009-06-23T09:31:00.002-07:00

went to work at mango,

dun know i work there during holiday how many years le

i wonder how can the full time staff work like tat
everyday doing the same thing
it is amasing that they can still continue to work there for a few years
just continue working for almost a week drives me crazy
and really tired
~
For those of you who know me well,
xiiaodor is capable of doing silly as well as retarded stuff
so, while working, i did alot of stunts too
more recent ones are:
-during my whole week of working there, i broke more than 7 hangers
-got confuse between knee-length skirts and dress
(cause being the very short me, could wear the skirt as a tube dress =.=)
-and there is this supper long dress where i must fold it in two before i could actually carry it

(and there is this time where i took more than 3 peices of it and i step on the dress and almost triped... the worst thing is every one actually saw me T.T)

-putting on security pin, also known as ink tag on clothes while poking my hand so many times

(and when i finish, my hand were like li guo huang face-so many hole >.<)
-and den working till very tired so when ppl talk to me, i gave the very dead face
(plus customer talk to me, i will make them repeat 2nd time... they will say every thing and i will be like "huh ?")
LOL
there is still many more ...
i couldn't remember them all
~
got my new phone
samsung preston
white one !!!
wee~
very please with my phone but still trying to get use to the touch screen
~
yesterday accompany dar to school to do project
i was very very tired but still wanted to go
(just to see you >.<)
stone there quite awhile after that when to bishan junction 8 to shop around
dar bought a ring and a braclet for me !!!
(LOVE YOU LOTS)
hehe... so happy...
den at there i also do stunt =.=
you know the automatic door?
i just walk, thinking that it will automatic open
and who knows the door lag abit den i bang on to the door =.=
after that, went to watch hotels for dogs at dar house
never manage to finish it
the doggies are so cute !!!
gorgia!
i wan watch !!!
~
RETARDED

.hates the crybaby inside me

2009-06-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

ahlalala~
every day work work work
my legs are going jelly le
or should i say they are already jelly
totally no energy left le
work finish just sleep den do project den work again
VERY TIRED!!!
xiiaodor is so deprived
i am deprived of play time !!!
i wanna go play
hehe
~
my work place only got aunties
so sian
and den yesterday i work from 10am to 10 pm
den go home sleep
den today from 10am-6pm again
and worse still
they post me to the same department as yesterday
the folded tops plus jeans
fold fold fold non-stop den go home sleep come back fold again
this is all thanks to some aunties who really dun understand english
tell them no size already still down there dig like mad
dun believe me den ask me for wat sia
den dig also dun know how to dig properly
make the clothes all messed up like dun know wat
~
so, tomolo i will be in school to do POM project and den work
i am so gonna pamper myself when i get my pay ^^
hehe
go eat buffet
i say wan go eat wan go eat so long le still never go eat
Zzz
tomolo got work sia
sianz
1pm-10pm
tired*
~

you always have your way of making me smile
you never fail to amuse me >.<
love you lots <3

2009-06-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

today went to do stats project
haha ... i didn't do much
most of it is being done by dar, julie and evelynn
while i just continue playing with my mafia wars
(wahahahahaha)
den dar and me went to accompany andy to get his hair cut plus hightlight
(but dun know wat happen become whole head coloured =.=)
den we went to the pasamalam walk walk
bought food only
LOL
(and this time didn't spent alot >.<) wanted to play the mini games there but dar was to shy to play LOL (just imagin two poly kids playing with primary school kids >.<) den after that sit down and chit chat awhile den go home ~ when i reached home, my dad straight away ask "you go school do project or go dating ?" i was like totally shocked when he say that den i say "go do project lah" "i saw the two of you" (my heart almost flew out) "where?" "in the morning when you are going to school" (relieved*) "den ?" "walk also need to hold hand, sit at bus stop like bus stop no ppl like tat, lie head on his shoulders" den i just quickly went into the toilet i was like thinking, hold hands and lie head on shoulders are normal wat isn't that what couples normally do ? but den still
omg
~

eh ... you should tell me my bad points so that i can take note of them
but no need you to say,
i also know got alot lah
haha
i love you for who you are
just like how
you loved me for who i am
love you more than words can ever express
<3

2009-06-15T10:19:00.000-07:00

today when out with darling the whole day
skipped dance which i am supposed to attend at 4 pm
(sorrie sab for leaving you last minute alone to go for the dance T.T)
still thinking of whether i should still continue with the CCA anot
i ask my mum, she asked me to quit...
predicted ... she will do anything and everything just to keep me lock in my house
Zzz ... tat's how things are when you live with parents who still live in the 80s
LOL
~
when to withdraw money at kovan
finally got my pay =)
~
meet dar den take the mrt to douby ghout
on the mrt we chatted alot
laugh until stomach pain
~
when to watch the land of the lost
i was just fascinated by the dinosaur
other than that, the show was nothing much
~
went to eat at astons
(thanks dar for the treat =P)
the food was ok but the services was terrrible
the waitress never bring us to the table nor asked us to wait
she leave us hanging down there dun know wat to do
OMG (if my dad is there they surely get scolded)
~
den shopped around and dar bought me a ring =)
(woo~ super happy^^)
den went to Henderson wave
i went there before but i didn't know it was called Henderson wave
LOL
we walked quite a long way
as i was wearing heels, i got some blisters on my leg
but all in all it was a nice experience walking with dar
kinda romantic
(thanks dar)
~
went to habourfront there to eat at the hawker
den went to shop at vivo
bought a pink shirt for dar
(dar,dun worry about the price ok? i feel happy spending it on you =])
~
after that we went home
den i think we two quite tired after the long day
drop off the mrt at kovan instead of hougang
(haha ... blur me)
den need take bus home from kovan
LOL
so now i am, at home, gonna sleep soon
see ya =)

i wish i could just
snuggle in your arm
fall asleep
with you hugging me close
like never before

2009-06-14T02:27:00.000-07:00

it has been quite awhile since i had this feeling of being so alone
not quite use to it
bored at home with nothing to do
~
my mum pressure me to do something
and now she knows tat i am not with my previous bf anymore
and some other stuff happened to me when you were not around
i so wanted to tell you
but i thought you are so busy with your stuff
so i shouldn't bug you with my stuff
i know tat you would wan to know
but darling, i just can't tell you my problems when you are busy
i feel bad to bug you with things tat will affect your mood
~
you said it was only a small matter
but you didn't know wat happened
i dun blame you
i just wan you to know
i still love you so
~

2009-06-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

today finally finished the stats exam le !!! YAY !!! tomolo having HTML ... dun feel like studying and also dun know how to study ... LOL ... after school today, daddy(josh), caleb, and me when swimming ... didn't swim for long cause josh say he not in mood to swim cause got ugly ppl ... LOL ... and i also cannot swim much cause very long never swim le ... plus skipping ballroom for 3 weeks due to ICAs ... xiiaodor seriously lack exercise ... LOL ... den when to dar house with the intention of studying for HTML ... but end up falling asleep till about 5 plus den study till 6 pm den go home le ... and today i just make an attempt to change blog skin all by myself ... trying to change things here and there ... (since i gonna have the HTML ica tomolo i might as well play hands on with my blog >.<) and after about 3 hours, *ta-da !!!* here is it ... haha ... i wanted to include the song you are my love ... but i can't find ... so i gonna post it here ... haha ... enjoy!

btw, i am currently watching boys over flowers... and there is this dinosaur show coming up in june 11 which i wanna go watch and the manga- my absolute boyfriend is going to be aired on TV !!! how cool !!! and best of all, it is not in anime ... it is in real drama ... real ppl using the storyline !!! woo~ and den holidays is coming, which means work is coming ... which means i get to have pay ! wee~ plus i gonna get a new phone by july ... most probably an iphone ... hehe ... life is gonna be great ^^

time with you are treasured~

2009-06-06T22:25:00.001-07:00

yesterday when to his house to study but didn't manage to study much ... after that when to isetan wisma to register for a job at mango ... yay! mango again =) this time instead of the big big 2 floor mango that need to run up and down the stairs like mad woman, this time the shop small small only ... life will be so easy ... i think ... LOL ... let's see this time got any funny customers or irritating obasans ... LOL ... and then because this time is at smaller shop so the ppl there won't be alot ... never see any of the ppl tat used to work there ... sads* i miss them ... T.T ... haha ... den go super market bought sushi ... i got my pay le =) very tempted to go eat buffet ... shall go there soon =) but first need to go withdraw out the money first ... lata darling going come my house study =) study the very suxy stats ... i hate stats >.<>.< ... haha ... number still haven change ... so ppl, you all can start messaging me le =)

can't believe tat i am in love~

2009-06-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

昨天和Caleb去电影院看dance subaru... 不错不错, 是个值得去看的电影... 尤其是当女演员开始跳舞时,我全身的细胞都由不得我作主,独自也跳起舞来... 特别是到街头舞的时候,真是最精彩不过了... 再说,电影里的女主角姿态高雅... 我个人觉得她在电影中扮演的角色是个挺不错的女人... 为了梦想,能够克服障碍,不轻易放弃的精神真是值得敬佩... 看电影时,Caleb做了一个超级尴尬的事情... 详细内容我就不多说了... 自己去追问吧! >.< 也是在那一天,我把我的手机给弄丢了... 真是扫兴... 今天就和Caleb到他和他的初级学院的朋友的集会 ... 还不错,那里的人都很友善... 有说有笑的... 玩得很高兴... 好久没有玩得那么愉快了... 好了,时候不早了... 采镇在此停笔... 后会有期!

somehow, you gave me the feeling tat i could rely on you.
even under those imperfect, you are still the man that i love.
i am willing to slowly learn together with you.
but first, you have to put up with my cold shoulder whenever you said/do something wrong.
you got to learn it the hard way darling~
there is nothing more efficient and effective then a hands-on practical >.<

2009-06-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

today's POM test was a totally failure ... i, as wat dar suggested, really went ahead and use my cow sense to do it ... it is like all wrong can ... i doubt i can even pass it ... LOL ... everyone was still writting and i was like finished it long ago le ... den i was wondering why they got so many things to write where i only have a bit ... LOL ... anyway, it is all over le ... den after POM test, we went to eat chicken rice at douby ghaut ... okok only ... acttually is not very nice ... LOL ... den went to play lan ... they all play dota ... den i also play together ... den always lose ... den there is this lighting character kept on killing me ... T.T ... den in the end, i so poor thing ... only can hide in the forest and feed on wild monsters to level for nothing while they went on to tank the enemy base ... and when the enemy spot me, he killed me within 3 sec ... 2 hit K.O ... OMG ~ i am so noob ... and when guys play lan, they are really wild ... LOL ... but today they are still not that wild yet ... maybe if i am not around they will be really high bah ... LOL ... i shall go and play more dota ... dun like the feeling of being killed by ppl and feeding on weak monsters ... Zzz ... oh, and i so miss darkness and light !!! when are they gonna be out ? lorrine and lobella, i miss you ! LOL ... tomolo no pom lect ... tat means school ends at 12 pm !!! WOOO~ so cool !!! happy sia =) look forward to go out with darling tomolo =)

i am still trying to get over that incident
when ever i feel hurt in a relationship,
i would force myself to stop loving that person a bit
and bit by bit, i will totally forget about that person...
tat's how my heart works...
something like a self defense system
so that explains why yesterday night i was like tat
and also why i was kind emo in the afternoon...
but i will get over it soon =)

2009-05-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

just now went to eat dinner with my family after studying at andy's house with darling, yiling and of course andy ... it has been a long time since i go to eat together with my family on sunday ... and my ah ma say she miss me ... LOL ... mama say want to eat some fish and chip from a particular store den when we went there, the uncle say need to wait for 1 and a half hour ... so we end up eating at some random food court and the food wasn't very nice ... i ate a bowl of minced chicken noodle, a bowl of laksa, some tau suan, and some ice ka chang ... no choice ... i have a tendancy to eat alot when moody ... and den my dad say he wan to bring his car go repair cause some stone hit the front glass den got crack ... he drive to the car repair shop to ask den he dun dare get out of the car because got dog ... he say he scared of dog ... LOL !!! daddy !!! you so big, the dog so small den you still scared ... den he ask mama go with him den mama also scared of dog ... and to think tat they grew up in malaysia ... OMG can ... and not to mention ... the dog wasn't some huskey or big big wolf dog ... it was just a dalmation ... the 101 dalmation ... the black and white dog ... it wasn't even fierce at all can ! in the end my brother got to go with him ... LOL !!! and den my ah ma so funny ... last time she like boys better than girls ... say that guys carry down the family line ... den now she say that girls better than guys ... LOL ... just because i am always the one looking after her, walk slowly with her, preventing her from tripping on anything tat's why she say girl are better cause know how to take care of ppl ... LOL ... and den my mum and sis comented that i can work in old folks home ... LOL ... they say my patience is super high ... my mum cannot tahan my ah ma ... and i think in my whole family, i am the only one ... LOL ... i am still laughing over "my-dad-is-afraid-of-dog-incident" and now he say that dog see red things will chase ... OMG ... i think he mistaken bull as dog and mixed both of them up !!! LOL !!!

i am willing to do anything
to make you feel better
i am willing to shar your burden
even if it means to leave you
i will ...

2009-05-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

yesterday went on a date with darling ... although in between there is somethings that went hay-wired, but all in all, it was a nice date ... thanks for everything darling =) we went to k box, (and that was where he spent all of his money) den went shopping around ... and of course, you know me, i dun do window shopping ... so i bought a pair of earrings ... quite nice =) after a long long walk den we sat down and talk at the esplanade ... and we were laughing all the way as i was talking about my funny, embarrassing, unglamorous incidents again as usual ... come to think of it, those incident are never ending ... i think it can be made into a thick thick book le ... LOL ... den dun know why, i kept on laughing at almost every thing ... LOL ... and den i went home, (he send me home) and den i forgot that i got to pay the cc my manga class fee ... so i asked if he wan to accompany me cause i was like a bit late ... den he got to walk back from xinmin pri ... (i feel so bad) and den when i went down i saw my parents ... OMG !!! den when i reac home, my mum boom me with alot of questions ... wow ... and i was totally amazed by my quick-wits and my ability of manipulation when she boom me with her load full of questions ... i manage to answer them perfectly without any flaws ...

不怕不怕

mai-ah-hee
mai-a-hu
mai-ah-ho
mai-ah-haha

mai-ah-hee
mai-a-hu
mai-ah-ho
mai-ah-haha

wahahahahahaha~

2009-05-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

i just had my econs test today ... it was quite difficult ... and i found out that i got 2 question down the drain ... 8 marks fly ... T.T ... anyway, it is all over now ... yeah~ finish test i was like very high ... so long never take exams le ... wee~ and one more good news ... tomolo no class !!! you hear that ? NO CLASS ... W00000OOOO000!!!! how awesome is tat ?!? i got the whole day to go out and play and best of all, go out to play with darling !!! wee~ just thinking of it make me super happy ... wahahahaha ... saw mr brian today at canteen ... it make me think of the days in design school ... the time where we gave him the puppy eyes because we can't manage to finish our assignment on time and we wanted him to extent ... LOL ... puppy eyes always works on guys ... ok ... maybe not always ... but it is most of the time =)

i am in love
each day falling deeper
getting drown in your love
it feels like a dream
a dream that i would never ever want to wake up from

2009-05-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

it's another weekend ... with each weekend passing, test and exams creep nearer ... yesterday's ballroom training was fun... the body conditioning slacken alot ... so luckily today i dun feel much muscle pain ... we get to pair up with guys to dance and i was a little bit shy ... so ... haha ... anyway, i almost step on the guy's toe with my heels ... wahahahaha ... so who's up next ? >.< so i am now bored at home ... waiting for dar to call me so that i could go meet him =) i am now stoning down here with nothing to do ... so boring ... and later still need to go for the manga class ... i think i should start doing some work ... if not lata go there got nothing to show ... LOL ... time flies ... it seems like a week ago that i had started school ... so fast 1 month le ... all in all, school was fun =) and i wonder how long will this last ... and yesterday i was talking to my ex tutor on the topic on "bread VS love" he insisted tat bread is more important ... den i say i wan bread made with love ... LOL ... he say it is impossible ... hmm ... is it really impossible ? lol ... anyway, i shall prove him wrong by finding the "bread made with love" of my life ... LOL ...

2009-05-23T05:13:00.000-07:00

The Sagittarius/Goat

A plethora of talents grace this character's nature. He or she is able to take on myriad projects and work till he or she drops. One rub. This creature has to feel secure. Any hint of poverty throws this Goat into a tizzy. Faithful and exclusive in love. A joy!

THE STYLISH ADVENTURER

Sagittarius/Goat enjoys a giant creativity. Invention and enterprise are second nature to this dynamic, clear-thinking soul. Yet, there is one rub. Goats only function well when they feel secure. Lack of means or the threat of financial ruin, family schisms and personal jeopardizes of all sorts will flummox this Goat and throw him off his feed. The major struggle for this valiant and courageous character will revolve around getting and keeping protection for himself and family and friends. He or she spends time in the early part of his life seeking security. Until he has amassed sufficient means to provide for a family, he may not settle down at all. Adventures? Sexual affairs? Oh yeah. Lots.

2009-05-22T04:30:00.000-07:00

a quiz tat i did on facebook =)

Right brain individual.

Right brain individuals are intuitive, creative and imaginative. They are flexible and are concerned with the bigger picture rather than details. They are impulsive and spontaneous and do not like time limits. They have difficulty explaining ideas verbally and prefer illustrations to verbal instructions. Careers: Architects, Artists, Salespeople, Psychiatrists, Musicians, Politicians, Teachers. (Interpersonal, Emotional, Musical, Spiritual, Talker.)

2009-05-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

long time never blogged ... LOL ... blog getting dusty ... blows dust* LOL ... i am sad ... T.T ... i lost my hp's ear piece ... now i cannot listen to radio le ... T.T ... sads ... and and and, xiiaodor so wanted to have a nice hp strap !!! i saw one at mini toons ... it is nice and bling bling but den very expensive ... but other than that, it is like no others nice straps le ... T.T ... and then i tell him that i already have another bf ... he straight away called me and talk about the past and stuff, saying that he needs another chance ... saying that i am not fair to him and that he is better than my bf, saying that he don't wan me to suffer, dun wan me to get hurt because of other guys ... he said i will definately get hurt by other ppl ... now i am really scared ... did i do the right thing ? will i really experience the pain and get hurt again ? i really did the right choice by going in a relationship once again ? i really did set up my mind to give up on relationship ... so why am i in one again ? my mind is spinning ... really confused ... why ? argh ! i cannot think properly ... why must things be so messed up ? why must i be so soft-hearted ? why can't i be just a bit meanner ? haiz ... actually i was very happy in the afternoon de ... den now like tat le ... sads ...

2009-05-16T08:04:00.001-07:00

so today, we start our first body conditioning class ... it was fun ... but totally unexpectedly tough ... omg ... Ling~ if you think cheerleading warming up was tough, wait till you experience this ... omg lor ... even vivien cannot tahan ... ppl train ABT (abs, butt, tights) they train ABTC (abs, butt, tights, calves) haha ... by the end of the training, my legs are like jelly ... LOL ... den i literatlly walk like zombie ... LOL ... if i am not wrong, every sat is the body conditioning ... haha ... vivien say no need go gym, we in one year will get packs ... LOL ... so ugly ... i just wanna burn my fats ... LOL ... they do alot of tights stretching ... very very VERY painful ... i scared it snap ... LOL ... and den i was thinking, so many calves and leg train, muscule not big meh ? but i see their legs all very shappy very nice with the gentle curves ... i also wan ... T.T ... i scared wear the skirt ... it is like very short den my elephant leg will be exposed ... ohps* i run out of T-shirts wanna go shopping again soon ... but no time and den no money ... all because of my company lah ... pay so slow come ... LOL ... monday i having ica for effective communication le ... i very scared lei !!! stage fright* lata i stuck there how ? omg ... how ?!? scared* shiver shiver* LOL ... it is drawing nearer and nearer ~

2009-05-11T01:32:00.000-07:00

i am now at old man's class ... he is the most inconsiderate teacher ever ... seriously ! we were all very cold and den some one when to off the air-con for a while den he, when to go and on it just because he feels hot ... it is like he didn't take notice of the majorities can ... and den, when we just came in the class, he asked "who dun have the textbook yet" and me, yiling and vivien raise up our hands ... den he went on to say "this is already the 4th week you should already have a textbook by now ... " blah blah blah~ when we gave the reason that the book shop aunties say that the book is out of stock den he say "i was told that the stock has arrived" wat he means sia ? like we lie to him ? it is not as if we didn't try to buy ok ... it is just that it is out of stock ... being as angry as i am, i went on to say something which i didn't intend to say ... "come, let's go to the book shop ... NOW ..." and the old man got nothing to say ... i mean seriously, if you dun believe me den let's go and check it out ... ask him go eat grass lah ... so angry ... i never seen such a teacher like tat ... epic failure ... LOL ... and den just now i knocked my hand on the OHP ... OMG ... how stupid could i possibly be ? pain sia ... and den it is still on my finger ... bleed* ouch* lata going for ballroom ... yeah ~ so looking forward to it =) hehe ...

2009-05-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

argh !!! i really have buttered fingers sia ... my accounts rite, i got to like go and add up all the totals again and again before i get the right amount ... and you know something? i do it 6 times, all 6 times i got different amount lei !!! how awesome is that ? if that happen in the exam i really dun know wat to say sia ... how can i afford to like check again again and again for 6 times sia ... LOL ... and i never press fast fast fast you know !!! very slow lei !!! LOL ... today i found out something ... i am really very lousy at basket ball ... very very lousy sia ... LOL ... but it is ok lah ... ppl 1st time play lei ... LOL ... tomolo got IT ica 1 ... although it is mcq, i think i won't do well sia ... hahahahaha ... tomolo bring dice ... LOL ... and today at school 1 of my friend lost his lappy ... and you know wat? to make him feel better, i lost my jean cardigen !!! OMG !!! i really hope that my mum won't find out that i lost that cardigen ... i really hope that it is not branded ... if it is, my mum is gonna kill me for sure !!! how can that happen to me sia ... i mean, i have lost alot of things and i must really admit that i have SSSTM (seriously sever short term memory) and blur like sotong, and careless plus a bit clumsy, but how could i lost my clothes !!! omg ... tomolo shall go the toilet and check ... hopefully it will still be there ... but i think the probabiliy of it being there is 0.5 ... LOL ... stats =)

2009-05-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

so, yesterday i went to the ballroom instead of the cheer lead ... till now i am still thinking of which one to join ... and den yesterday i reach home at about 10.45pm ... my mum was like throwing a fit ... she was so angry and yell at me for coming back so late ... but what you expect me to do ? the thing just ended like at 10.15pm ... and i reached home at 10.45pm ... i didn't even when anywhere ! and it's not like i didn't pick up your call... in fact i even messaged you the time that i will be hom and wat time the things would end ... and den she told me to not to join any cca ... Zzz ... i knew it ... from the moment she say let me join, i was like where got so good 1 ... LOL ... anyway, yesterday during the ballroom welcoming party, losing team was supposed to do a forfit ... and there was this girl who need to do a wu shu act ... and she did it so not like wu shu ... so i thought it was sort of funny ... den i laugh so hard ... every one stop laughing i still laughing ... den every one look at me ... so malu! ok ... den i go home with alot of things and paper and laptop, den i drop every thing except for my laptop and all the paper scatter ... great ... den there is this malay boy or indian boy came to help mr pick up every thing ... den i was like saying thank you in chinese ... oh my ... what on earth am i thinking of sia ... LOL ...

being drunk really doesn't serve a good excuse for that ... i am amazed that even after i had left you, you could still hurt me... if you can't hold your liquore well, dun drink ... or at least, dun get all drunk and say words that are really hurtfull ... i feel so much pain that it is already numb ... you say you are sorrie, but you always make the same mistake over and over again ... you said "the reason by hoobastank"is wat you wanna say ... so now, listen to "you're not sorry by taylor swift" ... that's all i wanna say ...

2009-05-01T04:55:00.000-07:00

first of all, congratulation to my daddy for passing his wu shu coach exam, oral and written, with flying colours ... yeah ~ but, here comes the most important and the hardest part - practical ... daddy gambatte !!! you can do it de !!! although my dad never say, but i know he is very nervous ... and he tend to shiver and shake ... last time the competition that he goes to, he didn't win because he shake too much ... LOL ... den when i finish filming him, and i told him that he shook too much, he didn't believe me ... die die also dun wanna admit that he is nervous with thousands of eyes looking at him ... den he say is my hand shake ... humph* si ai mian zi ... LOL ...

today when to "study" with yiling, caleb, andy ... even though is going there to study, but in the end never study much lei ... den after that when shopping around hougang mall for a bit ... saw alot of cute little stuff ... so tempted to buy them all ... LOL .. i think my bad habit of spending money came back again ... but luckly, i spend wat i earn ... LOL ... i reach home at around 7.15pm ... den i was like preparing myself for an earful of scoldings ... but she didn't you know ... LOL ... maybe finally she know tat i am big enough to go out for a bit ... but anyway, thanks mum... tat was appreciated ... mother's day coming le ... i was thinking of folding paper carnation for her ... hope tat i could fold alot ... my mum love flowers ... i mean, who dun ? >.<

2009-04-25T19:31:00.000-07:00

IT'S OVER ... all over now... did i do the right thing? i will like a sinner... i had just destroy a man's future... his time, his effort, his heart ... i am heartless ... he said ... wat will i do now? life still goes on ... but...

ok ... enough of this ... i shall be strong and smile =)

right, so here is a video that i found on youtube about this lady, i think she is in britains newspaper, a very hot topic in britain... she really stun me... and this is the best example ever, not to judge a person by her looks ... so go to youtube and search for Susan Boyle at Britains got talent ! watch out for nasty simon's mesmerise look !!! so funny ! and i can't get into the IT web and i can't do the hw ... why is that so ? why ? anyone finished that ? can tell me how to get it in ? thanks !!!

2009-04-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah ... so here i am ... back to tell you guys more about what happened during my 2nd orientation at NYP, which is yesterday and today... (yesterday too tired to blog it out =P) so today i gonna blog both out ... haha ...

so, first day, it goes like this ... i was like blur ... dun know wat to do ... although it is not the first time i am going through orientation at NYP, still blur like freshe ... LOL ... but well, i guess this is so like me ... blur as ever ... anyway, i just went and do the "hello, what is your name" thing to the people siting beside me when we are at the main hall ... so i met some very nice friends ... watch the introduction video and den go through the speech thing all over again ... after that, lunch and den play some ice breaking games ... one of the games, we are suppose to play like the arcarde football thing where you use your hands to turn the sticks ... except that now we got to play it ourselfs ... holding on the strings ... our team scored 3 points all scored by girls ... 1 scored by me by chance, another 2 scored by another girl ... lol ... the girls like play football so rough ... even the OGLs got scared ... LOL ... and den during the mass dance, my partner and i were choosen as the best couple of my class den we got to go stage to dance ... so paisei ... at first it is ok ... den at the end i forgot my steps ... LOL ... and end of the day we need to choose the miss freshe and mr freshe ... i and ahmad was choosen ... (dun ask me why... it make no sense...) we go through the interview ... LOL ... so funny ... we just anyhow bomb ... LOL ...

the next day, (i love the second day... it's so crazy...=P) we are supposed to meet at the place outside the auditorium, at 8.45am ... but some of us hear wrongly and den we thought meet at 7.45am ... LOL ... den outside the auditorium got OGLs waving numbers ... as i am from 0911, i almost when to sit down with yiling at the number 11 there... but den lucky we got see the ppl like not the same like tat so we just go straight to the sports hall ... and we played wet games ... getting ourself totally wet ... but me, vivian and yi ling was like getting ourselfs totally wet even before they start the game ... cause we just started our own wet game with some ramdom guys ... LOL ... wat i like most is actually the paint thing ... we just took some face paint and den we de just smash it at ppl lol ... den my whole face was like filled with colours ... LOL ... den the OGLs when to paint at my face... one even stuff paint inside my mouth ... LOL ... den i become phantom of the opera female version ... LOL ... den our hair also got ... me and yiling (vivien when home...)were like crazy mad woman with our hair messy ... LOL ... we got take photo with paints on ... so ugly ... totally no reputation ... LOL ... (i will post the pic up when i get it and when i have the time ... LOL ...)

tat's all to the orentation ... so school starting on monday ... hope everything will be great ... and the workload will de ok and i will have alot alot of friends =) let's STUDY HARD PLAY HARD !!!
yeah~

tat's all for today ... hyper the whole day already ... no energy left ... going sleep le ... nites everyone =)

2009-04-04T18:49:00.000-07:00

man !!! i am getting so bored of my boring holiday life ... when school reopens, hopefully some interesting thing could happen ... work, sleep, eat ... i dun understand how can ppl stand such a lifestyle ... and promoter job are just so plain boring after you work as for a period of time ... unless something interesting happens of course ... stand there do nothing ... especially if there is like no crowd ... you can literally smack flies (if there were, i swear i would)... i was practically so bored that i when doodling in the useless expired flyer which wasn't given out on time ... but wat to do ? no work no money ... and i was told that because economic wasn't good, i shouldn't complain when i get a job ... but sheesh ... it's the truth ... and now i am still pondering which cca i should join ... should i go back to adventure club or join others ? but wat others is there to join ... like it doesn't really suits me ... and den my mum wanted me to join something more lady-like, more refine ... like wat ? dun expect me to go join some band or chinese orchestra ... i have totally 0 musical talent and not to mention i can't even sit still and look at the music scores for an hour ... it is in my family's bloodline ... none of us have proven that we are musically inclined ... and my dad says that we just dun have the music cell inside us ... lol ...nevertheless, i had always thought that playing the piano is fun ... but i just dun like the theories ...

THEORIES SUX ...

uh-oh ... did i just said something ? =x

2009-03-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

work work work work ... working too much is no fun ... but den, no work also no fun ... i have already decide that i will save up lots and lots of money, den if i get the chance, i will go travel around the world with some friends or my bf, with my back pack ... how cool will that be ? but den, if travelling around the world cannot buy too much things ... maybe send it home ? lol ... but most of all, i will travel with a camera =) capture all the things that i see in the world ... i wanna learn more things and see more of other culture and stuff =) i will do it during my university life, during their long break time (that is if i had a university life) ... that shall be my goal for now!

on mon, when i was working, there was a shoplifter. she stole a few bathing towels... total adds up to 100 ++ dollars ... wat was the worse, she brought along her son and daughter along to steal ... and when she was caught, she was being brought to the small room by the police... not sure wat happen inside the room but she was in there for quite a while ... like more than 3 hours ... when i went for my dinner break, she was still in there and the poor son was like crying "no no no !!!" in chinese ... the towels was just infront of my session and yet, nobody notice ... i wonder if the shoplifter had a illness that makes her wanna steal ... and i heard that it is not the first time she did that ...

so... tomolo i will be back to work again ... in order to earn money... it's like exchanging my time for money ... haiz ... time is so precious ... and i am trading it for just mear 5 dollars per hour ... LOL ... that's why, kids, gotta study hard in order to hold a hig pay job and trade your time for much more value ... man, i sound like a nagging mummy again ... i will and here before i get to the nagging grandmother stage ... so see ya ... when i have the time =)

2009-03-12T02:10:00.000-07:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

super duper true about me ... LOL ...

2009-03-11T06:05:00.001-07:00

obama ... LOL ... watch it =)

2009-03-10T19:37:00.000-07:00

finally !!! i could take a short break out of my 7 days of working days ... sleep go work come back sleep tomolo morning go work again ... it is like so mono lor ... and my leg hurts from standing to much ... T.T ... den everyday finish work go home got to put the medicated oil like some kind of old lady ... lol ... den work work work everyday liao suddenly so free like not used to it lei ... LOL ... anyway, my senior would ask me back to cover her for her off days ... LOL ... and den my mum want to help me find another job ... she say i might get a job at the canteen selling drinks ... omg ... i have become a kopi soh ... LOL ... but den i kind of want that job ... a new job that i had not try before ... cool ... LOL ... i want to try many many job ... hehe ... so hopefully i could get that job ... but hope pay not lower den 5 dollar per hour ... hmm ... i am still think wat should i do when i finish typing this blog ... perhaps i should retype the book [five people that you meet i heaven] LOL ... i so wan to go shopping in borders !!! oh, saying about shopping, yesterday, during the last day of the sales, i pushed the sale and made a customer bought about 10 shirts ... he spend about 250 (non-discounted price) ... wooo !!! if only i could spend like him ... LOL ... i would spend it in borders !!! Borders BORDERS !!!

ok ... xiiaodor is getting crazy le ... so this post should end here ... borders^^

2009-03-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

i just did some quiz at facebook ...

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

What Does Your Burger Say About You?

Your Burger Says That You are Gluttonous

You are very gluttonous. Even if you're full, you'll still clear your plate.

You are the ultimate foodie. You're picky about food quality, but you're not picky about eating strange things.

You are bold and resolute in your choices. You don't back down, and you aren't afraid to go at something full force.

You consider yourself a healthy eater. But you're not about to sacrifice taste or quantity!

You are emotional. You have a big heart, and you tend to go for comfort foods.

You have trouble making decisions quickly. Everything looks good to you... especially at a restaurant.

You are creative, open minded, and friendly. You are interested in all types of food and new dishes.

if you realize, both results show that i am creative and good at arts ... LOL ... but it is so not true ... if i am good at arts, i wouldn't have to change course at all lor ... T.T

2009-03-03T02:51:00.000-08:00

rusty blog ... lol ... i didn't update any post because these days my life is so mono ... so bored ... eat, sleep, watch anime, kana scold/nag by mother ... that's all ... i when to find job for like so long den finally found 1 ... although it is only for 10 days, but it is better than nothing right ? LOL ... as usual i am back to the sales line ... LOL ... sometime i really think i am a workaholic ... i prefer working than staying at home to rot ... cannot do anything ... so i was supposed to sell alan delion shirts and pants, including tie, belts, culflin and underwear ... all men's wear ... yesterday was my first day of working there and some interesting stuff happened ... the belts which were new arrives didn't have hole for the buckle ... instead there is a hinge thingy to hook onto the zagget design on the belt ... any way, there was this customer who came to me to ask me how do the belt work ... as i was new, i lead the customer to another senior promoter who had worked there for long ... so, she brought the customer there and den the customer spot the belts with no holes ... den he ask her how did this belt work ? without holes how to wear ... so the promoter explain that the belt is an automatic 1 ... so the guy try it on and it looks good on him... however, when he attempt to take it off, he didn't know how ... so he asked the promoter for help ... and guess what the promoter said ? "sorrie sir, i also dun know how to unbuckle this belt" HOLY !!! the customer was like so angry and he threaten to write in to the management to complant about her ... in the end, she got to find a girl who is selling other brand belts to help him unbuckle ... LOL ... work are so interesting ... you get to see interesting stuff ... many ppl's reaction to different things ... and when you served a person well, they will thank you and den shake hands with you just like wat a customer did with me yesterday ... not forgetting the kids who would talk to you if you seem friendly enough ... FUN !!!

2009-02-13T00:27:00.000-08:00

yeah yeah yeah !!! tomolo can go out shopping with my bf ... LOL ... i last time when to tampines mall to shop with my friend den i found alot of cute stuff ... i wanna buy them all ... hehe ... i found a tea set .... so cute ... den i wanna buy a new pencil box ... and some cute stationery ... den i also wanna buy a 2009 organizer ... but then hor ... that 1 cost 25 plus bah ... i think around there ... like so expensive lor ... so i dun think i am gonna ask my bf to buy that ... cause i think all the things that i wanna buy will add up to a hundred ... wahahahahahahaha ... this time i think i will really will spend alot ... wehehehehe ... but then like cannot ... need save money ... lalalala ~ very long never spend money shopping le lei ... hehe ... hand itchy ... wanna go on a shopping spree ... wee~ hyper hyper hyper ... wee ... LOL ...

2009-01-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

today i went to watch ink heart ... very nice ... i watch it with my bf and his friends ... lol ... btw, i skipped school ... LOL ... bad sia ... hehe ... den i guess a teacher , miss amy called my hp to chase after my hw ... omg ... how ... i need to wait till wed den can know weather i can chnage course anot ... pray hard i can ... pray hard hard ... please ... pretty pretty please ... btw, i am know in my cousin house ... he was bored to death so i sing the song milkshake ... den he suddenly so hyper ... lol ... xiiaodor want to watch the wedding game ... i want ... eh ... anyone want accompany me go ? this year dun know why cannot gamble ... all lose ... T.T ... haiz ... i dun mind this year all lose ... but i wan to enter my course ... must must must ... den i now also want find work ... no income ... but den ... no work ... now no ppl wan hire ... haiz ... den how sia ... go where fine money sia ... oh no ... must wait le ... save up save up ... haiz ... kk ... late le ... go sleep le ... nitez ...

2009-01-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

on thursday i finally get a respond from the manager of business school's management... she ask me down for a interview ... i was so nervous during the whole interview ... hope i didn't show it ... LOL ... it is still not comfirmed yet ... i will miss my classmates ... no matter wat, during this half a years time, we have been through things together ... i just wanna say ... thank you my dear friends ... the times that we spent together although short ... but it created a really happy memories in me ... i will remember the times that we shared ... although i might be gone soon, but we will still stay in contact dun we ? and if any of you need my help, pls do contact me and let me know ... i found out that buisness block is not to far from blk L ... i should be able to pop by every now and then to say hi =) ok ... bad news now ... i just found out today that in buisness, evryone got to study abit of A maths ... OMG !!! (dorothy is not very good at maths ... or should i say total faliure in maths) no wonder during the interview the manager look at my math result ... OMG ... i really hope to get in and study hard ... if i dun understand, i would do and do and do it until i get it all corect !!! humph ! things are gonna get tough ... i knew it ... i just knew it ... haiz ... i guess every thing got its own bad huh ... anyway, JUNJOU ROMANTICA 2 is out !!! OMG !!! how can i missed it till now !!! hehe ... finally some thing to cheer me up ... wee~

2009-01-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

wah !!! i really need an answer from the director soon !!! i really can't continue doing the work that has been handed out ... everytime skip course also cannot ... attendance below 85 will be deemed as got student attitude ... alamake ... haiz ... dun know still got how long den will be confirmed ... really wish can transfer sia ... if not i am going to change school ... but i need the answer soon ... if not wait the intake of other school over le jiu cannot transfer school le ... aiyo ... i wanna faint le lah ... some more this week i need to pass up colour scheme and final of my studio project ... so many things to do lor ... anyway, i am still searching for jobs ... if anyone got any good intro can tell me ? i really want to earn some money so that when school reopen if we need new study materials i could buy with out asking my parents for money ... they spend so much on this course le ... i feel kinda bad ... like wasteing their money like that ... ah ... but nowadays find job difficult sia ... it's holiday time ... plus the economy is not very good ... very few ppl wan to hire part time ppl liao ... even if they wan, they long time hire the 'o' levels ppl liao ... sianz ... so now only left 5.30 per hour job ... haiz ... will i ever going to find a good paying job ? really worried sia ...

2009-01-07T07:44:00.000-08:00

i think i gonna say bye bye to this course that i am in ... Digital Media Design ... i am interested in this course ... i am trying hard ... but it's tough ... really tough ... perhaps it's like wat my mother say ... i am really not gifted in arts ... but nevertheless, i have really learn a lot in this course ... met a lot of ppl ... made some friends ... learn something about softwares ... learned how to operate computer better ... i guess i would really miss my times in this course ... it is fun despite the stress that it has ... if it is not because of my circumstances, i would really wish to continue on ... the work is piling up ... and i know that i would not be able to catch up on everything ... not to mention that i am a slow learner ... i need to spend hours to draw a picture ... where as other spent only 30 min ... haiz ... i guess i would just take all these memories with me ... and move on to a fresh start ... i am sure i will miss all my friends there ... ppl like farah, naz, nich, veron etc ... we will surely got in touch rite ? cause after all we are still in the same school ... although we are at the two ends of the school ... haiz ... i have decided to get into the bussiness school as wat my parent wished ... they didn't force me ... i made this decisition myself and i really hope that i wouldn't regret ... really ... so bye everyone ...

2009-01-03T03:49:00.000-08:00

i LOVE weekends =) today is sat ... also so happy during week ends ... can sleep later ... LOL ... but den it also allows me more time to do the work that i had been missing during the days that i had been absent ... as times flies and monday is coming, feel scared ... cause tuesday i skip lect by tapping my card and go ... den the teacher suddenly checked who help others to tap ... but i didn't ask ppl to help me tap ... i tap myself den went of to do the work tat i have missed ... man ... i really hope that the teacher would not pursue this matter ... T.T ... i am now doing my story board ... i had been told that next week need to pass up already ... and i am FAR from being done ... LOL ... really need to speed up ... and chinatown also ... plus my animation ... dun know how to explain to the teacher sia ... haiz ... i decided to go school early on mon ... 8 am ... den use the lab ... hopefully it is open ... den if cannot finish den i during break time do ... den pass up to teacher using email... dun know can anot ... if cannot den burn in disc give him ... as for my storyboard, i don't know exactly when need pass up ... oh well, i just do wat ever i could ... but by fri die die must finish prelimary sketches and concept ... jia you ! i can do it de !

p.s hope miss gail never pursue the matter ... please ... *pray*

2008-12-28T01:13:00.000-08:00

tomolo start school le !!! no !!! i still wan holiday ... T.T ... i haven do finish studio ... dun know this time can pass anot ... i wonder wat happens if i fail again ... sianz ... now i always get headaches every now and then ... feel like knocking my head on the wall ... lol ... and my drawings are like ... lol ... the sketches are not nice at all ... dun know weather can pass anot ... grr... i so lousy at drawing ... mon go school got drawing ... dead ... lata start with 30 sec drawing ... so long no practice dun know will draw wat monster come out ... den still need to go see miss wendy ... den need print my portfolio ... dead ... where got so many time ? hope miss wendy give me more time to work on my studio project and my portfolio ... but today, at least i must do my prelimary sketches and my research, and concept thumbnails ... so that i can let her see them and choose a concept for me on tues ... alamake ... hw so many ... still have my hand drawing haven do ... and den they say have typo hw ... also dun know wat that is ... and i need to save up money ... after clearing up the debts, i wanna buy lts of stuff ... hehe ... that shall be my motivation ... wahahahahaha ...

2008-12-23T07:45:00.000-08:00

have you ever felt that you are alone ? bored ? it seems that no one really understands you ? well, i do ... and this is wat i feel now ... friends... yes ... i used to have them ... and be by their side when they needed some one to pour their troubles and share their woes... but where have they gone when i needed them ? it is though they just vanish into thin air ... of course, i didn't mean all of my friends are like that ... some did stay with me ... but that is like only 2 or maybe 3... but they are always busy with work or i just cannot contact them ... i dun know ... i am frustrated ... tired ... and i dun wish to do anything ... things just kept coming ... but i shall be strong ... i believe i could face it ... even if i am alone ... i will make it ... i promise myself that i would pull it through ... even though i am sad to realise that i in fact, do not have many friends ever since i entered poly ... they say that poly life is supposed to be the most enjoyable parcel of one's life ... perhaps it is true ... perharps not ... i think it is up to me to make it an enjoyable one, or to make it a most terrible one ... i must buck up ... i cannot be weak at this point of time ... i have studio project 1 and portfolio to do ... and they are in progress though it's slow ... no matter wat happens, i still have myself to depend on ... jia you ! jia you ! jia you ! i can do it =)

2008-11-18T23:59:00.000-08:00

lol ... nowadays so busy with work that i almost forgot all about this blog le ... no time to type lor ... and recently i found out that i am growing fatter ... need to slim down already ... yesterday i tried to do some sit-ups ... my standard drop alot lor ... when i was in secondary school, 30 sit-up in a min is nothing ... now, i collapsed at the count of 25 ... need struggle den reach 30 ... so dead ... i dun think i could even run the 2.5 without stopping anymore like wat i always did in secondary ... man ... need to get back my figure ... well, although i dun have really beautiful figure ... but at least no tummy !!! got tummy wear clothes very ugly ... especially since i like clothes with slim cut ... exercise ... yes ... need alot ... but really like no time ... all the most i can do is sit up and leg lifts ... lol ... no more chocolates ... need to cut down on that ... ah ... portfolio ... portfolio ... headach ... now ppl start planning on where they want to go and wat they wanna do during the dec holidays le ... only me cannot even think of holiday ... while they are playing i got to work ... T.T ... sads * i also wan play lei ... but luckly christmas coming ... got turkey eat ... lol ... and my birthday ... can celebrate during sunday ... hmm ... how should i celebrate my birthday ? lol ... dun care le ... go sleep first ... wahahahaha ...

2008-11-03T05:59:00.000-08:00

wah ... so long no blog le ... like got no time ... lol ... no lah ... is actually busy playing games ... lol ... but then hws are coming in already lor ... specially monday ... monday is the must interesting and fun class because got typo and drawing ... where we get to see real models and draw ... but i kinda pity the models ... they have nice body, nice curves and muscules, faces with clear, distinctive features, but some how, when it comes out of our hands, he/she gets distorted like some kind of alien from outer space ... although they are paid for their face to get distorted, i really wonder if he/her would feel that they look like alien ? lol ... by the way, today i almost lost my hp and wallet ... we went to eat at mcdonald's ... and i left my hp and wallet on the table ... den we walk of ... 10 mins later i feel that some thing is not right ... i quickly check and found that my wallet and hp are not with me ... den i rush to the table and saw my hp and wallet ... phew ! lucky ! lol ... but really scare me ... it was at the edge of the table and lucky no one took it ... if not new phone and 80 dollar fly ... omg ... no food for 1 and a half week ... btw, my family are now all enjoying their trip at turkey ... i miss them lots ... T.T... specially my sis ... hope they come back fast with lots of presents for me ! excited XD

2008-10-23T04:43:00.000-07:00

today originally wan to wake up at 7 am and be in school by 8 am de ... cause i haven finish my work ... the 20 thumbnails ... den end up late ... lucky i done like 9 thumbnails ... all coloured ... lol ... den today in school something very stupid and embarressing happened to me ... i spilled ribina on my white skirt ... oh my god ! den there was this big red patch of stain on the white skirt ... i got no choice but to use water and hopfully wished that it would not be so obvious ... after like washing the skirt with water for 4 to 5 times, the colour is not so visiable le ... but i got to like wear a wet skirt to class under air-con for 3 whole hours ... so cold lah ... den farah was like laughing all the way lor ... imagin you walk in front of the whole class with a big pinkish stain at the front of your skirt ... feel like dig a hole and hide inside ... but luckly no one notice it ... ah ... dun know why nowadays i feel so tired ... always feel like sleeping ... like keep feeling tired and my muscules are like aging ... dun really feel like going to school ... must be because i still have holiday mood ... lol ... getting sick very often ... so sian ... pay is coming in though ... that is The only thing that made me feel happy ... and not forgetting manga lesson on sun ... yippee =)

2008-10-20T04:48:00.000-07:00

everytime got flu ... sian ... eat anything also have no taste ... den everytime stay in bed ... hug the box of tissue for life ... lol ... long time never blog le ... btw, today i recieve the mail that i am suppose to retake my studio project 1 ... during my dec holiday ... T.T ... and it falls on my birthday ... T.T ... i wonder could i just take a day off ...T.T ... they ask me to start doing the portfolio ... really ... last time already learn my lesson ... no last min ... this time must be better ... before dec 15, must finish portfolio and maybe get them all printed out ... no more last min rush to the shop and getting them printed ... now i wonder wat is the project all about this time ... hope it isn't something hard to tackle ... travis didn't recieve any mail ... dun know is he haven recieve or he didn't get to retake studio project ... i dun wanna be alone ... T.T... i still got drawing and stuffs haven do ... ah !!! i am dead ... i can feel the strss is coming back again ... T.T... today at school, during typo, when i was like trying to control my shaky hand ... lol ... hope tomolo i can get better ... den i won't miss out on the 3D ... cannot afford to miss 3D ... if not i don't even think of operating maya software ... sure die ... even photoshop (which is supposed to be an easy software gives me headach...) i can't imagin maya ... dead ... T.T